Doctor: "So Woody, what seems to be the problem?"
Woody: "I have a real bad pain in the back of my throat..."
Doctor: "Okay, let me swab that and take a look..."
Woody: "What do you see, Doctor?
Doctor: "Oh my."
Woody: "What is the problem?"
Doctor: "Ummmmm. Woody. Have you eaten someone's excrement in the last half-month?"
Woody: "Hell no, doctor, do you think I'm some kind of freak?"
Doctor: "It's just that you have Esophageal Fecal-itis."
Woody: "Esophageal Fecal-itis?"
Doctor: "You have ass-worms at the back of your throat."
Woody: "Oh God..."
Doctor: "I repeat: Have you eaten someone's excrement in the last half-month?"
Woody: "Well, I DID do an ATM scene in San Bernardino..."
Doctor: So: SOME kind of freak: noted..."
Woody: "It was in the script..."
Doctor: "It's Okay, we can solve this with some penicillin..."
Woody: "Really?"
Doctor: " Yes: it should reduce the swelling within seven-to-ten days."
Woody: "Thank God. And the ass worms?"
Doctor: I'm afraid that penicillin won't do anything about THAT."
Woody: "Oh God..."
Doctor: "Ass worms are meant to be in your ass: when they are in your throat they are up to seven-times-bigger --"
Woody: "--Nooooo--"
Doctor: "--and they are happy there. Whatever YOU eat, THEY eat."
Woody: "This can't be happening..."
Doctor: "It IS happening, Woody. Soon they will be eating into your brain, laying ass-worm babies..."
Woody: "NOOOOOO!"
Doctor: "Unless..."
Woody :Unless WHAT, doctor? Unless WHAT?"
Doctor: You can try to eat the shit of a young girl, and the ass-worms will find themselves drawn to THAT, and leave your throat."
Woody: "Can that work, Doctor?"
Doctor: "I have no idea: I'm making this up as you go along."
Woody: "I'm doomed, aren't I?"
Doctor: "Just give it some time: they'll work their way to your intestines and be excreted."
Woody: "I'm going to be Okay?
Doctor: "In your profession I think I will be seeing you again..."
I am Laslo.
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