I took deep breaths like my Yoga Instructor teaches but Red Mega-Dong would not come out of my ass.

Amazon:

"Red Mega-Dong"

Three-point-five stars.

Review:

"I was drunk with a girlfriend of mine and we went on Amazon to find the thickest dong there was. By far Red Mega-Dong was the girth-iest.

As I said, we were drunk, so I ordered it on my mother's credit card (Sorry Mom!)

It came in the mail and was thicker than my thigh.

So I drank a little and tried to put it up my ass, but no dice.

I then smoked a spliff, added some lube, and it still wasn't even close to making an entrance: it was like trying to put a bowling ball in a Pringles can.

Then I took some Molly and a little Coke and -- Wham -- it slid right in!

They should tell you that in the reviews: Molly, Coke and Lube.

Anyway, my legs would not stop shaking so I tried to remove it, but it wouldn't budge.

I took deep breaths like my Yoga Instructor teaches but Red Mega-Dong would not come out of my ass.

Desperate, I called my girlfriend, and she came over, but --even after tugging and tugging and twisting -- she couldn't get it out of my ass.

We called the Fire Department, and I was mortified: obviously some cute buff Fireman would arrive and have to remove Red Mega-Dong from my ass.

Except the responder was a big black woman who just rolled her eyes, shook her head, and pulled Red Mega-Dong out with pliers.

I'm not sure if this experience was a 2 or a 5, so I gave it a 3.5.


I am Laslo.


http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/10/at-autumn-mindfulness-cafe.html