"One way, though, you get to keep your panties."

"How's that feel, baby?"

"Oh Kobe, that feels sooo good."

"I aim to please. Now bend over: I'm going to do you in the butt."

"Uh, I'd really rather not..."

"C'mon baby: let Kobe do you in the butt. I do everyone in the butt. Except my wife."

"But I don't want to do it in the butt."

"All the girls love Kobe doing it in their butt. You'll be able to tell all your friends: Kobe did me in the butt. Doesn't that sound good? They'll be all jealous and shit."

"Doing it in the butt doesn't sound good at all, Kobe..."

"Baby, I let you in this room just so I could do you in the butt. Are you saying Kobe made a bad decision?"

"No, Kobe, it's just that --"

"--Then bend over and let me do you in the butt."

"Kobe, no..."

"There are only two ways you are leaving this room, and both ways are after I do you in the butt. One way, though, you get to keep your panties."

"Kobe, that's rape."

"It can't be rape, little girl -- I'm an NBA Star. Got my own Shoe and everything."

"It's still rape I think."

"It ain't rape if you just let me do it. C'mon, baby: let me do you in the butt."

Then she kicked him in the balls and left the room.

I think everything is accurate except that last part.

I am Laslo.

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/11/what-if-nyt-put-up-fawning.html