"Tonight you do not sleep with the camel, my Wife: tonight you sleep with me!"

"Fatima!"

"Yes, my husband."

"Did I not have your Grandmother bound?

"Yes, my husband."

"Did I not have your Grandmother gagged?

"Yes, my husband."

"Did I not have your Grandmother blindfolded?

"Yes, my husband."

"Did I not have your Grandmother down on her knees?

"Yes, my husband -- Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes"

"Then why did you not cut off her head?"

"She was always kindly to me -- she sang me songs, and made me cookies --"

"She is an Infidel, Fatima!"

"I know -- I tried. Really I did!"

"Try? Do. Or do not. There is no try!” 

But Muhammed, I did cut cleanly through her wizened throat, but when the knife hit her spine I was not strong enough to cut through the bone."

"Fatima: If you cannot cut through a spindly old woman's spine how will you ever behead a man twice your size?!"

"Maybe I could use a chainsaw?"

"Fatima!!!"

"I am so sorry Muhhamed, I know that is a Tool of the Infidel..."

"Do not be sorry, Wife! That is not a Tool of the Infidel, that was surely a Moment of Religious Inspiration! The Chainsaw! Surely Allah would Approve!"

"Do you really think so, husband?"

"We will ask the Cleric, sure, but I truly Believe that you were just Touched by God!"

"I am so pleased that you are pleased, my Husband."

"Tonight you do not sleep with the camel, my Wife: tonight you sleep with me!"

"Uh... Lube is still of the Infidel, though...?

Lube is still of the Infidel, Fatima..."

I am Laslo.

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/11/she-told-me-our-brothers-will-come-and.html