Wife, calling husband's office: "Should I have dinner at the regular time?"
Husband, at computer screen, operating Photoshop: "Sorry, honey, but it's going to be a late night tonight."
"How late?"
"Well, it's Madonna. She's naked again."
(Sigh) "So I shouldn't wait up..."
"It's going to take me hours just to fix her neck. It looks like a cross between a plucked chicken and a vagina."
"They can't expect you to work miracles, honey."
"And -- Oh God -- her face..."
"That bad?"
"I feel like a mortician and the family wants Grandma to look twenty again."
"Surely she must know that she is 56..."
"She told me -- and I quote -- "not to stop until she looks younger than Miley Cyrus"."
"Is that even technically possible?"
"There's not a lot to work with: she doesn't even have lips anymore, it's just Chanel lipstick smeared on a skull."
"But she takes good care of her body..."
"Honey, she's got more sinew than Iggy Pop. Even her ass is sinewy. It's like looking at a cadaver covered in spaghetti."
"Surely it can't be all that bad..."
"Well, she still has nice breasts."
"See, it's not ALL bad..."
"Yeah. I mean, they're not as perky as Miley Cyrus, but still... nice; I just have to move them up a few inches..."
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2014/12/mom-i-feel-like-im-isolated-from-your.html
No comments:
Post a Comment