Giggles McGigglecuddy, Police Clown:
To begin: I don't like being a Clown, but I do it for The Law...
Sometimes I am a Decoy Clown, sometimes I am an Undercover Clown: it is a Dirty City: Dirty with Clowns and Clown Sex and Clown Shame...
The Hardest is being an Undercover Flame-Haired Hooker Clown: all these baleful men who want to fuck me for forty dollars, then -- when the handcuffs are on -- they are in tears down their untucked shirt. A Flame-Haired Clown fucked them at a Birthday Party, a Flame-Haired Clown fucked them at a Bar Mitzvah: the Clown Shame runs deep. How they stare at my shoes, my oversized Red Clown Shoes....
It is Toughest, however, with The Children: when they are sobbing and snotting and have to point at me Where The Clown Touched Them: I feel for them, and know I'll be arresting them in twenty years...
Sometimes I feel like Clown Disease is seeping into my Soul: I can beat down a dozen crack-addicted hookers, yet I never feel clean...
I am Laslo.
ADDED:
Giggles McGigglecuddy, Police Clown:
You know how you know when you have apprehended a Bad Clown?
The little boy's underwear in his pocket.
Usually.
I am Laslo.
Giggles McGigglecuddy, Police Clown:
You know how you know when you have apprehended a Bad Clown?
He says the Target bathroom was open to all genders.
Yikes.
I am Laslo.
Giggles McGigglecuddy, Police Clown:
You know how you know when you have apprehended a Bad Clown?
His Clown Make-Up matches the imprint left on the little girl's thighs.
After a Clown Encounter the Smart Parent does not wash the Child before the Police arrive,
I am Laslo.
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