When I was a child my favorite sugar would be the milky sugar slurry at the bottom of a bowl of Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries.

Socially Awkward Guy Who Makes No Eye Contact says:

When I was a child my favorite sugar would be the milky sugar slurry at the bottom of a bowl of Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries. I would finish a bowl and leave the remaining sugar-milk at the bottom, then I added the contents for another bowl: after eating that, the remaining puddle of milk would be supercharged with sugar and little soggy crumblings of cereal…

It was wonderful, which is no doubt why my Mother put a stop to it by eventually only buying low-sugar cereals. Rice Krispies? I don't care about the Snap, Crackle or Pop! Cheerios? Seriously? That was horse food...

I wanted the sugar, I wanted a super-duper sugar cereal that scraped the roof of my mouth raw like sandpaper, I wanted THE FUCKING CAPTAIN CRUNCH. WITH FUCKING CRUNCH BERRIES…

After my Mom stopped buying sugary cereals I would only get to have them when I had a sleep-over at a friend's house, rare because I really didn't have many friends…

There was one boy in second-grade, Alan Jenkins, who invited me over and, in the morning, we let the sugar settle from Cocoa Puffs for chocolately sludgy sugar milk. It would have been a great stay-over if only Alan hadn't put his finger up my butt the previous night…

I would love to meet a girl who liked to be peed on AND liked to eat Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries: I'm starting to think such a woman doesn't exist, except maybe in Romania or something. If they even have Captain Crunch in Romania, with or without the Crunch Berries…

Like no one else thinks these things.

I hope the Girl with the Blue Hair is working at McDonalds today...




I am Laslo.


https://althouse.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-researchers-reviewed-guidelines.html