"A Turkey? Like Turkish? I think we have an Arab Sex Ass with vibrating butthole."

Sketchy Guy Who Works at the Adult Bookstore says:

Thanksgiving is coming, and today I had a man already in the Holiday Spirit. He walked up to the counter and asked if I had a particular sex doll.

"What kind?" I asked. "There's a lot of them. Disembodied latex orifices modeled from porn stars, big black plastic ghetto booties, your old-fashioned blow-up dolls..."

"I want a turkey," he says, making eye contact: eye contact is very unusual in my line of work. Disconcerting, really: I don't want to look in customers' eyes, their sweaty desperation is like a Black Hole trying to draw you in.

"A Turkey? Like Turkish? I think we have an Arab Sex Ass with vibrating butthole."

"No, no. I want a sex doll turkey with a fuckable vagina and asshole."

"That certainly is specific. I don't think I've ever seen one of those before."

"Really? That is disappointing. I can't be the only one who wants to fuck a sex doll turkey with a woman's fuckable vagina and asshole."

"I think you might just have to go with the real thing."

"I've done that before: I got salmonella in my dick. Trust me: you NEVER want to get salmonella in your dick."

"I'm sorry: I don't think I can help you."

"Do you know why I want a sex doll turkey with a fuckable vagina and asshole?"

"I really don't need to know."

"I'll tell you, if you want."

"I don't want. Don't tell me."

"When I was eleven we had family Thanksgiving Dinner at my Uncle's house. He later cornered me in the basement, got me drunk on beer and shoved a turkey drumstick in my ass."

"Okay. I think that is all I need to know."

"After the turkey drumstick he shoved corn-on-the-cob up my eleven-year-old butthole. Luckily THAT was buttered. I don't have any sexual issues with corn, though: I like corn. Funny how that works."

"Like I said: I don't think I can help you."

"Well, thank you for your assistance. I'll see you again. Before Christmas."

"Christmas?"

"Yeah. You want to know what happened to me on Christmas?"

"No, no: no I don't."

"I'll tell you, if you want."

"I REALLY don't want. Don't tell me."

"It involves my Uncle, my ass, and a whole fruitcake..."


I am Laslo.


https://althouse.blogspot.com/2016/11/post-halloween-lunch-setting.html