Hack Comic Mic Nite...
"Trump, man... what a fucking mess we got into, right..? The dude is afraid of germs but not the Russians? Really? Germs and women, germs and women... For some people, they smoke a cigarette after sex; Trump, he reaches for the Hand Sanitizer...
We all know he has a problem with women, but he always seems to find himself some: behold the Power of Money, people... If Stephen Hawking was rich enough HE'D be dating a Super Model -- and you know there'd be some real fucked-up sex there, am I right...? It'd be like some fucked-up version of naked Twister, ending up with him tapping into his keyboard "Baby, I'm gonna shoot my load..."
But the women Trump finds: is there such a thing as Trailer Park Models? Because these chicks, they sure must be in Wal-Marts everywhere, just looking for Rich Men in the deodorants aisle...
I DO have a question for Melania: weren't there any other billionaires with bigger hands that you could've married? I mean, it's probably better than those ninety-year-old guys with the liver spots on their face and the sagging balls and shriveled penis, but there were no other takers? The Slovenian Mail-Order Bride Market must be a bitch...
These are just jokes, people: I mean no offense to our lovely First Lady: I LIKE having a First Lady I can finally jerk off to...
You've been a great audience, thank you for laughing...
I am Laslo.
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