"Oh Honey! I am just so glad you're alright! The doctor said the bullet didn't hit any major organs!"
"It's things like this that really make you realize how every moment matters."
"Indeed! (pause) Honey?"
"Yes, dear?"
"What were you doing at a Gay Nightclub, anyway?"
"It's times like this that make you realize you only have one life, and you need to live every moment of it."
"But, Honey..."
"It's like I can see things so clearly right now."
"I can see that. But: about the Gay Nightclub..."
"I feel unburdened, for the first time in my Life."
"Honey, I'm getting nervous..."
"Baby, I'm sorry, but I feel Free, finally, and can now actually Tell you the Truth: I'm Gay."
"But we've been married fifteen years. We have two kids..."
"And now I realize I was living a Lie."
"A lie? We just had sex two nights ago: a man and a woman."
"When we were having sex I closed my eyes and pretended I was fucking David Beckham in the ass."
"David Beckham? You don't even like soccer."
"My gay friends have helped me get interested in the sport. Lots of tight young bodies in shorts."
"Gay friends?"
"Well, men who sucked my cock."
"So when you were in my vagina you pretended it was Beckham's ass?"
"Well, sometimes. Sometimes it was Brad Pitt's ass, sometimes Forrest Whitaker, sometimes just some guy I saw on the street."
"Forrest Whitaker?"
"He reminds me of the first guy who sucked my cock. Same lazy eye."
"This is a LOT to process..."
"Isn't it, though? I am Free, Free to Truly be Me."
"But what about OUR Life?"
"What?"
"What about OUR Life?"
"You never thought about being a lesbian, have you...?
"No! No, I haven't."
"Damn: that would have made all of this a lot easier..."
I am Laslo.
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