The Kiss.

On a porn set in a warehouse somewhere in San Bernardino...

Brianna: "Oooooh! Ooo-Ooooooh!"

Woody: "Uhngh! Eeeee-Uhnghhhhh!"

Director: "Now Brianna, we've done doggy-style, froggy-style and missionary: I want you to turn around on Woody, reverse-cowlgirl, that's right, don't miss a beat..."

Woody: ""Uhngh! Oh, baby, yeah! "Uhngh!"

Brianna: "Ahhhh! Oooooh! Ooo-Ooooooh!"

Director: "Brianna, you're a Star! Now Woody, pull your penis out and put it in Brianna's ass!"

Woody: "Oh baby, I'm gonna put my dick in your ass! Uhngh!"

Brianna: "Ohhhhhhhh! Oooooh! Ooo-Ooooooh!"

Director: "Brianna, the camera LOVES you! Smile big, then remove Woody's penis from your ass and go down on it!"

Woody: "Oh baby, that's right! I'm your Poppa!"

Brianna: Snuuurf! Schluuff-Schluufffff!"

Director: "C,mom Brianna, let's make it messy! I wanna see saliva, I wanna see slobber: you want nothing more than to suck his dick after he had it in your ass!"

Woody: "Oh baby, you're so gooooood..."

Brianna: Snorgle! Schussss-urphh! Urphh!"

Director: "That's IT, Brianna! Now slide your mouth up from his penis and give Woody a kiss!"

Woody: "Um. What?"

Director: "Brianna's going to give you a kiss!"

Woody: "That isn't going to happen."

Director: "But it will be sensual, Woody: that is why we are HERE."

Woody: "But my dick was in her ass, then in her mouth: I'm not kissing that."

Director: "Woody, you're a Professional: you've had anal sex with a 9-months-pregnant woman, you've had sex with dwarves and given Golden Showers to amputees and hot chicks coked out of their minds --"

Brianna: "-- I would like some more coke --"

Woody: "At least have her brush her teeth!

Director: "That would ruin the integrity of the scene! We would lose all the intimacy we have so carefully set up!"

Brianna: "I think I need to floss, too."

Woody: "I'm NOT kissing THAT mouth."

Director: "Woody, this is essential to the emotions of the scene --"

Woody: "Her lips smell like ass, lip gloss and Chipotle --"

Brianna: "--that's funny! I had Chipotle last night!"

Director: "Focus, people: focus!"

Woody: "Why don't you bring in a lesbian to kiss her? That could be hot..."

Director: "No, we are not bring in a lesbian: we are going to follow the fucking script, people, and there is nothing in the script about toothbrushing, flossing or lesbians. In the script it says you fuck her in the ass, she blows you, and then you kiss. Got it?"

Woody: "I think I lost my erection."

Director: "Woody, you did that on purpose!"

Brianna: "It looks like a sad little balloon..."

Director: OK, we'll film the kiss from the waist up..."

Brianna: "Can we hurry up, please? My mouth is starting to get vomit in it..."

Director: "Woody...?"

Woody: "Okay, okay: one quick kiss, but NO tongue. Got it?"

Director: All right! NOW we are making a MOVIE!"

I am Laslo.

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-kiss-10-item-list.html