Monday, November 20, 2017

Unfortunately, many of my thoughts about making this happen kinda sound like kidnapping.

The Guy Who Searches the Internet for Nude Pictures of an Old Girlfriend...

So I went to my ex-girlfriend's apartment to see if her nude photos were on her computer, and she had changed her password. And I stole a pair of her panties. When she was mine she was fat and her panties were big and boring. Now she is fit and her panties are sleek and exciting...

I have resumed scouring the internet to find the photos, but I am beginning to believe that I might never find them: there are just too many naked girls on the internet...

I parked out by her gym again. She was wearing her black stretch pants and a yellow sports bra. I am starting to have a reoccurring fantasy. If I could just somehow get her to my place and keep her there for a week maybe she would remember how good we fit together, and she would realize why we should be back together now...

Unfortunately, many of my thoughts about making this happen kinda sound like kidnapping. I mean, it wouldn't really be kidnapping: I would just be putting her in an environment that would help her think more clearly. But it still kinda sounds like kidnapping...

I picture us at my place, and my having sex with her and her new taut body. I hope I wouldn't have to tie her to the bed: I don't know, sometimes that happens in the fantasy, sometimes it doesn't...

I know these thoughts are not good for me. Even if you do this kind of thing for the right reason they will still probably throw you in prison. As I said, I have resumed scouring the internet to find the photos, but I can feel my heart isn't really into it. I realize I need to do more. I cannot be so passive. Maybe being passive is why she left me in the first place. Maybe she would be excited about me taking action: that might be what she wanted all along...



I am Laslo.


https://althouse.blogspot.com/2017/11/at-fair-trade-cafe.html

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Sometimes you touch a woman's ass and it disappoints you. This ass was not disappointing, not disappointing at all.

The Guy Who Touches Women's Asses...

As I said previously: I touch women's asses in public. Women that I don't know. Women with nice asses: I touch them. And I blame women for this: women are to blame. The clothes they wear: what lawyers call "Attractive Nuisance", I believe.

There was a woman at the grocery store today, wearing black leggings. She had a nice ass, so I touched it. Firm. Very much a nice ass. Sometimes you touch a woman's ass and it disappoints you. This ass was not disappointing, not disappointing at all.

Then she turned to face me, saying "Hey!" So I grunted something that vaguely sounded like "Sorry" and I handed her the card that says "I have Autism. And I'm partially deaf."

She fixed me with a suspicious look, but then turned away, pushing her cart down the aisle. As she pushed her cart down the aisle I looked at their ass: I touched that ass.


I am Laslo.

Somehow they didn't think this would happen when they got dressed in the morning in leggings that clearly show their buttocks.

The Guy Who Touches Women's Asses...

I admit it: I touch women's asses in public. Women that I don't know. Women with nice asses: I touch them. I touch them intentionally. I mean, maybe I sometimes brush a woman's ass by accident, but mostly I touch them on purpose...

Furthermore, I blame women for this: yes I do. Tight pants, tight leggings, tight skirts, yoga pants: women are putting their asses out into the public sphere. I am in the public sphere, and I touch those asses...

Now, I don't grope or pinch or hook: I keep an open palm -- I cup. Obviously, some women get upset that I do this. Somehow they didn't think this would happen when they got dressed in the morning in leggings that clearly show their buttocks. Again: I blame the women for this...

They have made their identity about their ass, then feign surprise when I view them as a vehicle for their ass. When they get really upset I hand them a card I've had printed: "I have Autism. And I'm partially deaf." Then I make grunting noises that sound like I'm trying to say words, but I can't actually say the words. Because I'm partially deaf. And have autism. This usually causes the woman to walk away. When they walk away I look at their ass: I touched that ass.



I am Laslo.



Bill Clinton, the Stand-Up Comedian...

Bill Clinton, the Stand-Up Comedian...

Great night, people, great night, thank you for coming! A lot of news about me in the papers lately. See, right there: I'm from a different era, right? I remember when you read the news in papers, not on your phone. The world has changed from my day, I sure see it...

You know, I'm getting a rep as a kinda bad boy lately, am I right? Bad boy, bad boy. I can't help it, I'm from an earlier time, things were different between men and women...

Back then, when women said 'No', we actually thought they still kinda might mean 'yes', okay? I know, I know: times have changed. But in my defense, it WAS Arkansas, you know what I mean...?

I know better now, I know better. I'll tell you a little something. When I was young I idolized John Kennedy, idolized him, right? And JFK, he liked the ladies. And he liked cigars. So I liked the ladies and cigars, right? Except I kinda screwed that one up, didn't I? You keep the ladies and the cigars separate, I know that now. Again: I was from Arkansas -- sophistication there meant putting premium gas in your truck, okay..?

Now, of course, I've realized I caused a lot of pain, I feel it. I'm really sorry for what I've done. And I'm sorry for what I've done that hasn't come out yet, okay? Real sorry. From my heart. Growing up in Arkansas without a father figure, I didn't know the proper way to be with women. And I made mistakes: I know that. I understand now that we all can't live our lives like we're Teddy Kennedy, you know what I mean...?

And it might sound like I'm making fun of Arkansas tonight, but the truth is I love Arkansas. Deep down, I'm an Arkansas boy. Still am, still am. Back home, they say you can take the boy out of Arkansas, but you can't take Arkansas out of the boy. But it turns out you kinda can: it's called DNA testing...

You've been great, thank you, thank you from my heart...



I am Laslo.



Saturday, November 18, 2017

I was breaking the law and STILL couldn't get what I wanted...

The Guy Who Searches the Internet for Nude Pictures of an Old Girlfriend...

So I went to my ex-girlfriend's apartment to see if her nude photos were on her computer. I know, I know: that was wrong. But I figured the quicker I could get those photos then the quicker I could put all of this behind me: I'm starting to think this obsession isn't good for my mental health...

I went to her computer and entered her password, BUT SHE HAD CHANGED IT. She had changed her password -- I couldn't believe it. Her password was "MacGyver 123" because MacGyver was the name of her childhood dog, and she LOVED that dog...

I thought maybe I had the password wrong -- it had been awhile -- so I tried different spellings -- McGyver, MacGver, MacGyver 1234, MacGyver 12345, but none of them worked. I was breaking the law and STILL couldn't get what I wanted...

Anyway, I looked around her apartment a little, since I was there. She had new photos of her family on her desk. I always liked her family, they were nice to me. Her father's hair was a lot grayer now, but they looked happy...

Dejected, I knew I had to get out of there, so I quietly left. Well, I grabbed a pair of panties from her drawer, then quietly left...

 I REALLY want to find those photos...



I am Laslo.

So I discreetly took a photo of her with my iPhone of her perky nipples in the pink sports bra...

The Guy Who Searches the Internet for Nude Pictures of an Old Girlfriend...

I wonder if my ex-girlfriend know that those photos are on the internet. She has to know: if I have heard the rumors, she must certainly know...

A week ago I was in the car in the parking lot, waiting for her to come out of the grocery store. When she came out she was in her tight black gym pants and her pink sports bra, and her nipples were poking through. So I discreetly took a photo of her with my iPhone of her perky nipples in the pink sports bra...

I admit: I did consider posting it to the internet, but I don't want to be THAT guy -- it's kinda creepy, I think. Sure, I look for her nude photo on the internet, but I wasn't the one who took them and I wasn't the one who posted them, so I am not the creep here...

It had dawned on me that she might have copies of the photos herself, on her computer. And I DO still have the key to her apartment...

I didn't keep the key to be a creep, I just forgot to give it back, that's all. Well, actually that is a lie. I kept the key figuring we were going to get back together so I might as well keep it. Then, after some time passed, I thought it would be creepy to return the key to her, because that would mean I was holding on to it the entire time...

But it has crossed my mind that I could sneak into her apartment while she was at work and check what files she had on her computer: I still have her password, if she hasn't changed it, but I don't think she would change it because it was the name of her beloved childhood pet and she wouldn't let that go...

I do think. it would be wrong to go into her apartment when she wasn't there and look at her things. But that WOULD be a quick way to get those pictures, if she had them. And if I DID go, I would bring a thumbdrive with at least 2 Gigs of memory, because maybe there is video, too...

 I REALLY want to find those photos...



I am Laslo.

But she didn't think it was funny or cute: she was upset, upset at me seeing her asshole.

The Guy Who Searches the Internet for Nude Pictures of an Old Girlfriend...

I can't help but wonder how the nude photos of my ex-girlfriend are. Is it a few quick snaps of her in the shower, and she's smiling about how cute her life is? Is she nude in high heels and smoky eye-make-up, leaning against a doorframe? Is she lying on the bed with her legs parted? Once I start thinking these things I can't stop, and I think these things a lot...

When we were together she was shy about her body because she was fat. I remember going down on her once, and she kept her breasts covered with the bed sheet. Afterward, I made a light-hearted joke about how I saw her asshole, because I did: while I was down there I saw her asshole...

But she didn't think it was funny or cute: she was upset, upset at me seeing her asshole. I thought that when you were together these things were no big deal, but evidently it was A Thing. I know she was self-conscious about her body and being fat, but it's not like her asshole was fat, you know...?

So now I can't help but wonder what these photos show. Now that she is all tight and hot, is she no longer shy? Was she excited about showing off her new body? I bet she was excited about showing off her new body. And there are photos out there, if I can only find them...

I also wonder if she shows her asshole. I REALLY want to find those photos...



I am Laslo.