""Prostitutes: Senate health care bill will devastate us." Prostitutes!"
Angry Hooker With No Health Care says...
What is wrong with you people? What the Hell am I supposed to do without Government Health Care? You think my Pimp offers insurance benefits? You think my chlamydia is going to cure itself...?
Sure, I can go to the drug store and buy Monistat® 7, but that over-the-counter shit don't work a damn on my yeast infections anymore! I get the yeast infections REAL bad, people! Trust me, you DO NOT want me sitting on your bus seat before you, I tell you that...
Without Health Care I can't get my anal fissures fixed, much less my anus bleached! No one wants a hooker that doesn't bleach her anus anymore! Make America Great Again? How about Make My Asshole Great Again, okay...?
Is that what you want, America? You want prostitutes with swampy-ass vagina infections and ugly stained assholes? Hell, I won't even get into the costs of the vaginal reconstructive surgery I'm gonna need in a few years...!
All I'm gonna say, America, is -- when all your men are walking around with their dicks about to fall off -- don't blame me: my vagina is getting RIPE...!
And -- while we're at it -- can't we get the Government to fucking cure Herpes? This Herpes Shit HURTS...!
I am Laslo.