Sunday, June 25, 2017

Anyway, Yoko has that piano, now: if it;s THAT important just let Yoko sing it…

From the John Lennon Diaries….

September 19, 2001

I’m still in shock about the attacks: the world IS this broken. This is MY NYC, and I still smell the ashes…

They keep trying to get me to participate in a Memorial Charity Concert. I think I’m too old: it’s just pop music. It doesn’t change the world anymore. It never really did…

Of course, they all want me there to sing “Imagine.” Sorry, loves, but I don’t quite believe that way anymore. I meant well, but I’m not immune to the cries of hypocrisy that have been thrown my way. Anyway, Yoko has that piano, now: if it;s THAT important just let Yoko sing it…

I LIKE my life. I’ve been lucky, and I’ve worked my fooking ass off. I live behind doormen and assistants and bodyguards. I know there are people who will try to kill you for no real reason at all. Now people knock down buildings: ‘Imagine’ was dream from a dreamer. Guess what folks? I woke up years ago…

Everyone still wants Peace-and-Love-Lennon. I should say, all the older folks want that. The young don’t care what I say, and why should they? Let someone young carry the burden now…

Meanwhile, my City has been attacked. MY City. Excuse me if I’m not expecting ‘A brotherhood of man sharing all the world; anytime soon...

I never thought I’d say it, but I think we need a little less “Imagine” and a bit more of Paul’s song right now…

“When you were young and your heart
Was an open book
You used to say live and let live
(You know you did)
(You know you did)
(You know you did)
But if this ever changin' world
In which we live in
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die
Live and let die”

I am Laslo.


It’s coming on thirty years since the divorce, and yet she still keeps yapping to the press about ‘her days with John..."

From the John Lennon Diaries….

June 24, 2017

Fifty years since “All You Need Is Love”: I’m not sure I even remember that guy as being me. Naive, wasn’t I? A lot has changed since December 8, 1980…

People say I was lucky to survive, and I guess I was. But I still remember that look on Yoko’s face when I came out of the coma: it was like she was disappointed I came back. I think she was looking forward to the role of the Grieving Widow — and the money — and I kinda ruined that by living…

It’s coming on thirty years since the divorce, and yet she still keeps yapping to the press about ‘her days with John.” Sorry, dear: those days are over. Yeah, I fucked Stevie Nicks, but the truth is, we had drifted apart for a long time before that…

Thirty years, and Sean still won’t talk to me, but he DOES cash the checks I send him on his birthday. Yoko traded controlling one Lennon for another, but I still hope he’ll come round…

Paul called the other day: Ringo is short on money again, and wants us to do another tour like we did in 2000. You know, it was a lot more fun than I expected it to be — sometimes my cynicism makes me trip over my own feet, I realize that…

No one listens to my new stuff anymore. Sure, the reggae album was shit, but I’m an artist: I feel I still have something to contribute. But the kids today don’t give a damn about me — I’m just some old fuck he still patters along. Damn: I never cared much for the song, but hell if Paul didn’t see it coming:

Lift up your hearts and sing me a song
That was a hit before your mother was born
Though she was born a long long time ago
Your mother should know / your mother should know.


I am Laslo.



https://althouse.blogspot.com/2017/06/ringo-fidgeted-at-back-of-room-george.html

Thursday, June 22, 2017

He wore an embroidered Versace T-shirt -- those things cost over a thousand dollars!

Domitian‎, the Proud Sexy Gay Commenter says...

While walking at the park I met a guy who said he was a Political Consultant. He wore an embroidered Versace T-shirt -- those things cost over a thousand dollars! -- and he was incredibly fit, muscular but not that freaky muscular some guys get...

He told me about his job, which I didn't really pay much attention to: I'm not big into politics, but it seemed like most of his job was getting people to contribute money, and he seemed pretty fabulous doing it...

I brought him back to the condo and he proceeded to suck my Horse Cock. He was pretty good at it, too, but his damned iPhone kept going off: he'd stop sucking my cock, read his text and reply, then go back to sucking my Cock...

After, like, the fifth time I asked him to shut the phone off and just suck my Cock, but he said he needed to be connected at all times, otherwise he might miss out on Big Money...

So he sucked and texted, sucked and texted, and I was getting pissed off, so when I shot my load I sprayed it all over his thousand-dollar embroidered T-Shirt: good luck at the dry-cleaners with THAT...

He didn't seem that upset, though: he was already back to texting, with my jizz dripping down on his Diesel jeans. We said good-bye, and he left, his fingers clicking madly at his phone. I get it, people, but is it too much to ask that when someone is sucking your cock that they actually pay attention to sucking your cock...?

Bye, everyone! Suck suck!



I am Laslo.


Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Laslo Films Presents "What Lola Left Behind!"

Laslo Films Presents "What Lola Left Behind!"


Tucker has a visit from Fred, his step-father.

A Missing Item is Returned.


A Harrowing Story is Told.


I am Laslo.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Look: I don't want Trump to suck my cock. But that's about as far as I want to talk about it, okay...?

Domitian‎, the Proud Sexy Gay Commenter says...

The political scene now has made it tougher to be Gay...

Like, I'm not interested in politics, right? I'd rather talk about Interior Decoration any day of the week. But now, you meet some guy who you want to suck your cock, and inevitably he starts going on about how evil Trump and the Republicans are...

Look: I don't want Trump to suck my cock. But that's about as far as I want to talk about it, okay...?

I took to my condo an educated British guy -- I love the accent! -- and he started sucking my Horse Cock -- and sucking it very well, too. But then he stops sucking, and starts going on about how evil the Right is. Dude: shut up and keep sucking my Cock, okay? And he's British, he's not even American...

So, after his diatribe, he resumes sucking my Cock, but his attitude has changed, and now his Cock-Sucking is perfunctory -- Passive-Aggressive Cock-Sucking is the worst...!

So I finally shoot my load, and after he swallows he starts talking about Trump again! The guy acts like he's practically a Lesbian...!

I finally get him out of the condo and take a shower. You know, this is why I like the Brown and Hot types who barely spoke English -- the only language needed to be understood is The Language Of The Cock...

Bye, everyone! Suck suck!



I am Laslo.


It was okay, though: it WAS his first time, I told him he'd get better at it, honest.

Domitian‎, the Proud Sexy Gay Commenter says...

I was walking home across the bridge after a pathetic party -- a bunch of amped Tops drinking Gin-and-Tonics and bitching that there were no Bottoms there -- when I came across a despondent guy at the railing: despondent and HOT...

He was Brown and Hot and barely spoke English, which I like, but was muttering something about killing himself. Hey, I told him, it's a Saturday Night and I haven't even shot my load, and yet you don't hear ME talking about killing myself: it all gets better, you just have to hang in there...

He looked at me with big brown eyes to die for and said he was afraid he was Gay, and that his family wouldn't understand: it was very cute in an 'are we still in the Eighties?' kind of way...

I told him it was nothing to be ashamed about, and it turns out his family wasn't even IN America, anyway...

So I took him back to my condo, and he could barely fit his lips around my Magnificent Horse Cock. It was okay, though: it WAS his first time, I told him he'd get better at it, honest. And he was a bit startled when I came prodigiously: he choked for a moment, and then said it tasted like Pinolillo...

Afterward, I gave him money for a taxi and made him promise me he wouldn't kill himself today. He agreed, and then asked when he would see me again: he WAS new, and I told him gently we wouldn't be seeing each other anytime soon, I like my Horse Cock sucked by Guys who know what their doing...

Bye, everyone! Suck suck!



I am Laslo.


Saturday, June 17, 2017

...not in MY neighborhood, of course, but I see them when I'm slumming for some raw trade...

Domitian‎, the Proud Sexy Gay Commenter says...

I LOVE Cubans! The brown skin is to die for, and they are so adorable when they get angry, and Cubans, they get angry a LOT...

I don't follow politics, so I don't really get what our country's problem is with them; all I know is there are a lot of gay Cubans around here -- not in MY neighborhood, of course, but I see them when I'm slumming for some raw trade...

I once had a Cuban up to my condo -- he was Young and Hot and barely spoke English, which I like -- but he wanted to put his cock in my ass: needless to say, I Don't Do That. He got all petulant, but then he sucked my magnificent Horse Cock. When I shot my load he said it tasted like Saoco, which made me very happy...

Afterward I tried to give him money for a Taxi, but he was too proud to accept: they are a funny bunch, those macho Cubans...!

Bye, everyone! Suck suck!



I am Laslo.


I once had a Kenyan up to my condo -- he was Young and Hot and barely spoke English, which I like...

Domitian‎, the Proud Sexy Gay Commenter says...

I'd SO let the actor playing Trump suck my cock...!

He's not really my type, and he's too old, but it would be fun to have my Horse Cock sucked by someone I could pretend was President...

I wouldn't have the actual Trump suck my Cock, though: I don't want to look down and see that Orange Hair moving back-and-forth, and his tiny fingers probably could not fully grasp my Horse Cock...

If a President WAS to suck my Horse Cock I'd want it to be Obama, of course: I love the chocolate skin, even though his muscles are a little on the small side...

I once had a Kenyan up to my condo -- he was Young and Hot and barely spoke English, which I like -- but he could barely get his mouth around my Horse Cock. When I shot my load he said it tasted like Goat Milk: that kinda made me upset a little, although I have never tasted Goat Milk -- it just sounds Gross...

Bye, everyone! Suck suck!



I am Laslo.


...it is still quite large, and aesthetically pleasing, like if Michelangelo made Large Gay Cocks ...

Domitian‎, the Proud Sexy Gay Commenter says...

I LOVE the look of muscles and dark chocolate skin! He reminds me of a guy at the Gym -- I can tell he's not Gay, but Damn I want him to make an Exception: I'd be Gentle that first time, and not shove my Cock too fast into his throat...

I've seen him shower after a work-out and he has a magnificent Horse Cock. My cock is not as big, but it is still quite large, and aesthetically pleasing, like if Michelangelo made Large Gay Cocks ...

Some guys can barely get their mouths around my Horse Cock. Like last night: I picked up a Middle Eastern dude at Whole Foods and brought him back to my condo -- I absolutely adored his swarthiness...!

We ate Hummus, and then he sucked my Horse Cock, but it was Very Disappointing: he would only put his mouth around the tip, and when I shot my load he turned away at the last moment, making me spray cum all over my magnificent suede couch...

Bye, everyone! Suck suck!



I am Laslo.


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Laslo Films presents "Donut!"

Laslo Films presents "Donut!"


Man-Child learns an Important Thing About Life.

Tucker attempts to explain Heaven.

Heartwarming.



I am Laslo.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

This is the threshold between Hugging and a Lap Dance.

For a man hugging a woman, it also depends on Hug Style:

1. Half Hug. One arm loosely wrapped. Leaning forward. Conspicuous space left between hips.

2.Three-Quarter Hug: One arm loosely wrapped. Hug from an angle: mild hip contact.

3.Three-Quarter Hug with Kiss on Cheek. Same as #2, but with an awkward attempt to seem European.

4. Full Hug, Level One: Both arms encircle the woman, feet are directed in the woman's direction. Woman's breast against man's chest: gentle.

5. Full Hug, Level Two: Same as #4, but: Woman's breast against man's chest: definite compacting.

6. Full Hug, Level Three: Same as #5, but Hips press lightly together.

7. Full Hug, Level Four; Same as #6, but man has Erection.

8. Full Hug, Reverse-Style: ; Same as #7, man has Erection, but is hugging from behind.

9. Full Hug, Reverse-Style Level Two: Same as #8, but man is gently gyrating hips against the woman's buttocks.

10: Full Hug, Happy Ending: Same as #9, but man ejaculates inside his pants. This is the threshold between Hugging and a Lap Dance.



I am Laslo.



https://althouse.blogspot.com/2017/06/you-cant-just-hug-jerry-seinfeld-in.html

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Laslo Films presents "The Girl On The Phone!"

Laslo Films presents "The Girl On The Phone!"


Tucker calls a girl he met at the bar.

Interpretive Dance.


Corn Dogs.


I am Laslo.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

7:28. Woman at counter. Mid-twenties. Spring dress, yellow with flowers. I strongly believe no underwear.

Notebook of the Guy at the Coffee Shop Who Stares at Women's Asses...

7:17. Woman at counter. Mid-thirties, probably. Expensive hair. Black pants, not tight enough to discern details, but ass seems to be droopy. Orders green tea. Did not take photo.

7:18. Woman, second-in-line. Early twenties. Short hair, big earrings. Tight jeans. Narrow hips, slim ass, almost boy-ish. Taut. Orders Mocha. Took two photos.

7:21: Woman at counter. Forties? maybe looking pretty good for early Fifties. Capri pants. Too old for Capri pants. Ass past the age of evaluation. Did not take photo.

7:24. Woman at table, standing up from chair. Late teens, maybe? Blonde hair, big brown eyes. Stupendous ass. Full, firm, yoga pants. Bends over to put something in backpack: Yes! Took six photos.

7:28. Woman at counter. Mid-twenties. Spring dress, yellow with flowers. I strongly believe no underwear. Undulation. Orders latte. Took three photos.

7:30. Woman waiting at end of counter for beverage. Early thirties. White leggings, blouse only covers top third of ass. Nice ass, but she caught me staring at her. Angry look: probably best to leave for day. No photos.



I am Laslo.


Fuck, none of those are five letters, and they don't begin with an 'N', either...

Travis Bickle Does a Crossword...

Twenty-six down: Black Americans were once called this. Begins with an 'N'...

Hmmm, Ah, that's too easy. Wait. NIGGER is six letters, and there's only space for five. Damn, these crosswords are tricky...

What else were Black Americans called? Jigaboos? Tar babies? Jungle Bunnies? Fuck, none of those are five letters, and they don't begin with an 'N', either...

Damn. It's GOT to be NIGGER. Maybe they made the crossword wrong: there was supposed to be another square but they fucked it up. Nah, it's the New York Times: they don't screw up anything...

Shit. I can't think of another five-letter word for a fucking Negro beginning with an 'N'. I'll have to come back to this one...



I am Laslo.



I see the piss and shit in the alleys and the gutters...

Travis Bickle Does a Crossword...

Fourteen Across: another name for a politician. Four letters. Ah, that's easy. SCUM is four letters. The politicians here are fucking scum, letting the streets flow with the refuse of hookers and pimps, as long as they get paid by the right people...

Shit. PIMP is four letters, too. This is gonna be a harder than I thought. Are politicians more SCUM than a PIMP? I'm not even sure how to tell the difference on this one: Pimps are Scum, and politicians are scummy pimps. THEY are the ones that let the hookers walk the streets freely with the fucking diseases between their legs...

So: does Fourteen Down begin with an 'S' or a 'P'? Fourteen Down: What is found downtown, sometimes...

I drive through these downtown streets, I see the piss and shit in the alleys and the gutters... That's it! SHIT! SHIT begins with an 'S'. SHIT and SCUM: it works...!

Wait: PISS works, too. PIMP and PISS. Damn, they make these crosswords hard. I'm gonna have to figure out more letters...



I am Laslo.


It takes more than one hooker to make a river...

Travis Bickle Does a Crossword...

Seven Down: a river in New York. I drive these streets, I see the crime and decay and shit in the gutters, I know what's coming. River of BLOOD, that's it. The River of Blood is coming, and they know it, they know it's coming...

Ah Fuck. The answer is six letters. The river of 'Bloody' maybe? Nah, that can't be right. PEOPLE are bloody, the river is BLOOD. I fucking thought that was it, man, I fucking thought BLOOD was it...

River in New York. Hmmm. When I drive around I only see the scum of society floating down the sidewalks, the hookers and the pimps and the guys who'll snatch your wallet and run off like rabbits...

Hookers! That's it! HOOKERS! Wait. That's seven letters. A River of HOOKER, maybe? Nah, that ain't right. It takes more than one hooker to make a river...

What's another word for HOOKERS... yeah, what else do they call whores? Ah, that was too easy! WHORES! And THAT is six letters! The River of Whores, flooding the streets in their short skirts and sunglasses, smelling of desperation and menthol cigarettes. I'm gonna write that in...


I am Laslo.



https://althouse.blogspot.com/2017/06/im-trying-really-hard-to-understand-how.html

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Pig-fucking, folks: it always gets down to pig-fucking, doesn't it?

Hack Comic Mic Nite...

"Trump, man... what a fucking mess we got into, right..?  But -- shit -- it's getting hard to be a comic nowadays. I mean, decapitated heads and cock holsters? I had to throw out half my jokes because they're now too tame...

I mean, what comes after a decapitated head -- a decapitated cock? Sure, I hate Trump, but I really don't feel like standing on stage holding a bloody cut-off orange cock, you know what I mean...? 

So we have the President with his head cut off and his cock in another dude's mouth: that pretty much just leaves jokes about strange items being inserted into his ass, right? Hey, Richard Gere: can I borrow your gerbil for a minute? Hey -- that was funny in the Eighties, people...

Like I said, it's getting harder and harder to tell a joke about the guy. Just a few weeks ago I worked up a riff on Trump fucking Kim Kardashian in the ass -- I was honing my craft, right? I spent several nights as a professional comic getting it just right -- refining the funniest descriptions of Kim's giant ass takes time, my friends. And now? Big fucking deal. Kim Kardashian being fucked in the ass by Trump: I can't even stop MYSELF from yawning...

Pig-fucking, folks: it always gets down to pig-fucking, doesn't it? And once the pig gets fucked, where do you go? Fuck another pig? Too late: it's been done before, now...

It's getting to be like those gang-bang porn videos. Like, the chick who fucked one-hundred-and-twelve men: what's the next chick gonna do, fuck one-hundred-and-thirteen? After a while you're just left waiting to see when her anal sphincter prolapses, I guess...

I mean, do we move on to the First Lady getting decapitated? Sorry, call me old-fashioned, but when I hear about Melania giving head I'd rather think she's sucking my cock, that's all...

Of course, there's always the Ivanka incest jokes, but that field's been plowed, too. I mean, we're being left here in a Comedy Dust Bowl, people: there are no more carrots in the ground. Us comedians are becoming like those North Koreans who are left to eat rocks: there's only so many recipes for rock soup, you know...?

Like, am I left having to make jokes about Kathy Griffin, now? Has my Life fallen THAT far? What's next -- a career in Hell's Lounge making jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker having a face like a horse for all of Eternity? Because that where it's going, people: that's what we're left with...

These are just jokes, people: I mean no offense to our lovely First Lady: I LIKE having a First Lady I can finally jerk off to...

You've been a great audience, thank you for laughing...



I am Laslo.


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Laslo Films presents "The Creeper!"

Laslo Films presents "The Creeper!"

"The Creeper!"

A terrifying force is loose in a seemingly tranquil neighborhood.

Shafer and Tucker discuss a Mysterious Object left on Tucker's doorstep.

ManChild ponders an Exchange.


I am Laslo.

Monday, May 29, 2017

I swear, working here makes me see way too many people.

The Girl at Starbucks That Hates You:

It was a warm day today, the kind of blue-and-beautiful that Seattle finally gives you after eight months of rain. So -- of course -- there are women in flip-flops and tank-tops and men in shorts in line, waiting to order iced drinks...

Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time taking men in shorts seriously. I mean, wear them when you're mowing the lawn, sure, but I really don't want to see your pasty eight-months-of-rain bare legs today, okay? And tight shorts are too tight and baggy shorts are too baggy: is this what you wear to embarrass your kids when you're out with them? I mean, Real Dads wear pants, period...

But it got worse. Some hipster wannabes came in -- you know they're wannabes because real hipsters don't come into Starbucks, thank God -- and they're all wearing rompers. Really. It's bad enough when old men try to look like teenagers, but now young men want to look like toddlers? Do you need a Sippy Cup to drink your iced latte...?

I swear, working here makes me see way too many people. At least in an Office you see the same handful of people all the time -- you get used to who they are. But in customer service you see EVERYONE. Fucking Rompers: did your parents make adulthood look THAT scary to you...?

I look at someone in a Romper and I see someone preemptively denying all possibilities of Sex. Is there an abundance of Teddy Bears still on your bed? Did Toilet-Training go THAT poorly for you...?

The only thing I know is if -- God Forbid -- I'm still in this job a year from now  people are somehow going to look even more like assholes, because it seems like that is how it all now works. If I end up having to serve some twenty-two year old with an overgrown douchebag beard and wearing diapers I'll quit, I swear...



I am Laslo.


Sunday, May 28, 2017

Of course, Madonna tried to blaze this trail, but she never really went Wholesome, she just developed a British Accent.

It's the Modern Pop Star Arc.

First, though, you have to be at least mildly plausible as a Hot Slutty Girl. Sorry, Adele...

Britney Spears tried the Wholesome-to-Slutty Arc, starting with the simply naught Catholic Schoolgirl Thing, with the shirt tied up to show midriff. When she tried to turn slutty though it didn't quite work: she just looked like a White Trash Southern Girl returning to her roots. And then she didn't arc back to Wholesome, she just sorta waited a bit until Vegas called...

Christina Aguilera made the Arc: Young Clean Chick singing about Rubbing Genie Bottles to Dirty Xtina in streaked hair,panties and ass-less chaps. The problem is when she went back to wholesome she also got chubby: this raises the question of whether Wholesome was a Career Move or she just ate herself out of the Hot Slut Category...

Miley Cyrus went from Hannah Montana to twerking Paul McCartney, which seems to be Slutty With Daddy Issues. She also was photographed naked a lot. However, if she uses make-up to cover the tattoos she can still be somewhat convincing of Wholesome, or at least at leaving behind Culture Appropriation. Because there is no room for Wholesome in Hip-Hop...

Of course, Madonna tried to blaze this trail, but she never really went Wholesome, she just developed a British Accent. Then she kept that accent when she went back to being a Sinewy Dominatrix: this is not Slutty, it's just Embarrassingly Freaky...

Ariana Grande is in a tough position: she is at the point of her career where she should turn Slutty, but after the Manchester Murders it might seem in Poor Taste. Or more Poor Taste than is intentional, regarding the Slutty Transition. She has to tread carefully: however, the Massacre gave her some Good Will: Madonna probably would have killed for the Notoriety of a Muslim bombing one of HER concerts...

Just some thoughts, as we wait for the next fifteen-year-old girl to Hop On The Ride...



I am Laslo.



https://althouse.blogspot.com/2017/05/understanding-creepiness-of.html

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Family Secrets!

A New Laslo Films Production:

Family Secrets!

Tucker reminisces with his Grandfather.

The Horror of War.

A Lawn is Watered.


I am Laslo.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Stripper In The Trunk!

Laslo Films has a new short ready for The World.

Stripper In The Trunk!

Yes, there is a stripper in the trunk. It's actually kind of poignant.

And there are bologna sandwiches.

Adult-rated, of course.

Not that the bologna sandwiches are adult-rated: I didn't go THAT far.

Yet.

I am Laslo.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Sometimes I still think about that cheerleader, and wonder if she has ever been peed on.

Socially Awkward Guy Who Makes No Eye Contact says:

I really like Spring. All of the girls are in their Spring Dresses and everything is fresh and clean, not like the fake 'Febreze clean' that my room smells like all Winter. I masturbate a lot, so I use a LOT of Febreze...

When I walk down the street in Spring there are SO MANY girls I see that I'd love to pee on: they're everywhere! Pee Girls! I like when they wear sunglasses, because then we don't make eye contact: it's hard for me to look a girl in the eye, especially one I desperately want to pee on... 

When a woman looks me in the eye I can't help but feel like she is reading my mind: it is like my head is a giant chalkboard with "I WANT TO PEE ON YOU" written on it in yellow chalk. It's like those dreams where you're at the grocery store naked, buying toilet paper and Stool Softener...

When I was in high school a teacher called me up to the chalkboard to solve a math problem. Unfortunately, I had been daydreaming about peeing on the cute cheerleader that sat two rows over, and I had to walk up to the front of the room with a hard-on in my pants. For the rest of the year everyone in school called me "Stiffie", and occasionally "Math Cock Boy"...

Sometimes I still think about that cheerleader, and wonder if she has ever been peed on. I don't think she has, she didn't seem Like That Kind Of Girl. After a while you kind of get a sense about the girls who might let you pee on them, but I think they mostly want to be peed on by bigger, better-looking guys than me, with more forceful pee...

Just a guess, butI think Japanese Girls are more open to being peed on: the Japanese seem to like some funny things. And a lot of Japanese Girls act shy, which I am MUCH more comfortable with. Shy is Good: there isn't as much talking. I'm not really good at talking with Girls. But I probably could ask a Japanese Girl if I could pee on her, and -- if she was offended -- I could say she must've misunderstood my English, I didn't say THAT. That could work. I don't like Sushi, though, so maybe it wouldn't work out...

Like no one else thinks these things.


I hope the Girl with the Blue Hair is working at McDonalds today.



I am Laslo.


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

For Simmons, the second choice was a much easier path than the first.

I discussed a Theory regarding Simmons in a previous Althouse post. I think it certainly sets the groundwork for his gender transition.

I hope this helps put Richard Simmons' seclusion in better context. 

From that Theory:

"Richard Simmons shattered the glass ceiling that prevented Non-Celebrity Fat Women from having their own Magical Asexual Gay Guy."

Being a Gay Man that presented as Asexual and then was cast aside by better-looking non-threatening Celebrity Gay Men ('Queer Eye For the Straight Guy' as but one example), Simmons obviously suffered severe self-doubt leading to questions about his own worth and Identity.

Rejected as an Asexual Gay Man, Simmons really only had two options left to him: a SEXUAL Gay Man, or an Asexual Woman.

For Simmons, the second choice was a much easier path than the first.

As he was once a trend-setter in normalizing the Asexual Gay Man to Middle America he is now positioned to normalize Transgender Identity to those same people. They remember their previous fondness for Richard, and that helps them overlook any qualms they have of his new Identity: he was ALWAYS a bit 'off', but lovable.

Indeed, he is more effective normalizing Transgenderism to America than Caitlyn Jenner ever could: Caitlyn was once a Male Olympic Athlete, a Winner -- this places Him/Her outside a context that can readily be understood. But Simmons: he is still the Uncle who maybe hugs you too much but you love him, anyway.

I am Laslo.



https://althouse.blogspot.com/2017/05/richard-simmons-sues-national-enquirer.html

Sunday, May 7, 2017

"Not fair? Being Unfair is the only thing that keeps my job interesting..."

"Mick, it is Time."

"What? You're Death, aren't you?"

"Yes. And it is now your time to leave this mortal coil."

"Did you just get back from killing Keith? Because he HAS to die before I do."

"Ah. Me and him, we toy with each other quite a bit, but no, I have not claimed Mr. Richards as of yet."

"This can't be! He's riddled his body with poisons, and I'm in great shape! There is no way I should go before him!"

"It doesn't work that way, Mr. Jagger. God has a soft spot for some drunkards and fools."

"But if I die KEITH will be the one who represents the Stones! Everyone will talk to him, and forget about me. I'M the Stones! It's not fair!"

"Not fair? Being Unfair is the only thing that keeps my job interesting..."

"Why don't you take Paul McCartney? Hell, take Paul AND Ringo! That'd be quite a day for you, right?"

"Sure. But The Man Upstairs likes the Beatles more than your band..."

"Oh -- this is about "Sympathy For The Devil", isn't it? I knew He'd hold that against me!"

"No: He actually thinks that song is funny. But He DOES think you guys haven't done anything good since the Seventies. And he HAS heard your solo albums..."

"Well, if God loves the Beatles so much why did he kill off Lennon so young?"

"Ah, that's easy: as you may surmise, The Man Upstairs REALLY disliked "Imagine"...



I am Laslo.


White Van!

A new short piece from Laslo Films is posted on YouTube...


Age Restricted because, well, it's Laslo.

Shafer and Tucker drink beer and discuss the ramifications of a White Van prowling their neighborhood.

A Man-Child with his beloved Pink Cake Donut has a terrifying encounter.

There is a drawing of a Kitty Kat.



I am Laslo.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

It is obviously not a misunderstanding: there is a guy with a cock in his ass and a cock in his mouth, right on the cover...

Sketchy Guy Who Works at the Adult Bookstore says:
I see it quite often. The customer walks hesitantly to the counter to purchase his porn. There are several choices of conventional straight porn-- blondes with big tits, no obvious tattoos -- but tucked in there -- usually second from the bottom -- is a Gay Porn selection...
It is obviously not a misunderstanding: there is a guy with a cock in his ass and a cock in his mouth, right on the cover: you can't say it was misleading -- especially with the title "Fucked Behind the Ball Sac, Volume 6"...
The customer is nervously looking away as I ring him up. I COULD ask him if he picked up the title by mistake -- "You know this is Gay Porn, right?" -- but I am not an Asshole. I act like it is no big deal, because it really IS no big deal. I work in a Porn Shop: I sell product to people who want to see various things go into various orifices. As long as children and animals aren't involved I am not a Social Critic...
Some of these men eventually drop the pretense, and just buy the Gay Porn by itself. They might even make brief eye contact. And -- when they include a small dildo in their purchase -- I know they are preparing themselves for the Next Step...


I am Laslo.

Notice now how he has his gaze in the direction of your ex-girlfriends bikini top?

Shamebook says...

Remember this from one year ago?

That is you, your boyfriend, and your best girlfriend. What a nice dinner that was. And the wine: LOTS of wine...

Then, somehow, your boyfriend talked everyone into a Threesome. You didn't want to do it of course, but you were drunk and he was persistent.

Remember how, after that night, you could never look your girlfriend in the eye? Remember how you drifted apart? What has it been -- ten months since you last heard from her?

And your boyfriend left you soon afterward. Maybe he always wanted your girlfriend instead of you: he got what he wanted and left. Remember that photo of the three of you at the beach in happier times? Notice now how he has his gaze in the direction of your ex-girlfriends bikini top?

We will show you THAT photo sometime, when we feel like it.

Thank you for being a member of Shamebook. We will never let you forget.



I am Laslo.