Like I said, that was in college: I was young, I didn't know then that I was culturally appropriating his cock...

The Female Stand-Up Comedian in Tacoma...

I once dated a black man in college. And we had sex. A lot of sex. Like I said, that was in college: I was young, I didn't know then that I was culturally appropriating his cock...

It's funny when I tell a white guy I'm dating that I had sex with a black man: at that moment I now hold the white guy's utter self-confidence in my hands. He wants so badly to be reassured -- to hear that his perfectly average pink penis is just as good as the black man's huge cock, that he has nothing to worry about. In other words, he is soooo hoping that I lie to him...

What am I supposed to say: that my vagina can't tell the difference between the end of a baseball bat and a roll of LifeSavers...? 

Men, it's okay: there are other men with penises bigger than you, and other men with penises smaller than you. But there IS about a fifty-percent chance that you're below average. Sorry. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong: math to a woman is like a vagina is to a gay man -- it just really doesn't have any use for you...

Thank you, thank you: you've been great...

I am Laslo.