At the 'organic farmers market' you can never be sure how that organic cucumber is going to be used.
Then the two women with the organic cucumber got into a Subaru.
I am Laslo.
Women with Subarus tend to compost a LOT of cucumbers.
Maybe a Seattle thing.
I am Laslo.
I have no problem with two women enjoying an organic cucumber in the privacy of their home.
Let he who has not watched lesbian porn throw the first stone.
I am Laslo.
Not all women who drive Subarus in Seattle are lesbians. Some are just in an experimental phase.
Time will tell.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/why-am-i-avoiding-this-indiana-rfra.html
Monday, March 30, 2015
I notice things like that.
"I even walked down your street -- it was a long walk."
Did you look in the windows?
I'd like to think I wouldn't look in the windows, but you never really know until you are there.
This is especially true regarding the hot chick who lives around the corner.
She usually gets home at six, and goes to bed around ten.
Just what I have noticed.
I notice things like that.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/sunset.html
Did you look in the windows?
I'd like to think I wouldn't look in the windows, but you never really know until you are there.
This is especially true regarding the hot chick who lives around the corner.
She usually gets home at six, and goes to bed around ten.
Just what I have noticed.
I notice things like that.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/sunset.html
If it is a chick sometimes the rule is allowed to slide.
At the 'adult bookstore' you can never know when the man buying the three-foot yellow ribbed polyurethane dildo is buying it for his girlfriend, his boyfriend, or for himself. Unless he asks for something to be written on it with frosting. This does not make it a wedding cake. A wedding gift, maybe.
I am Laslo.
I am Laslo.
I am Laslo.
At the 'adult bookstore' a man buying the three-foot yellow ribbed polyurethane dildo might say it is for "Leslie". That could be a man's name, or a woman's name. Pretty tricky on his part.
I am Laslo.
I am Laslo.
Just because a man at the 'adult bookstore' buys a three-foot yellow ribbed polyurethane dildo along with a stack of male gay videos doesn't necessarily mean he's gay: his girlfriend may just be one of those chicks who likes to watch hot man-on-man action.
It might, however, provide a clue on how the dildo will be used.
I am Laslo.
It might, however, provide a clue on how the dildo will be used.
I am Laslo.
Sometimes at the 'adult bookstore' you have to tell a customer that they cannot put their mouth around the end of a three-foot yellow ribbed polyurethane dildo until after the purchase.
Gay or straight, it is unsanitary for the next prospective customer.
If it is a chick sometimes the rule is allowed to slide.
I am Laslo.
Gay or straight, it is unsanitary for the next prospective customer.
If it is a chick sometimes the rule is allowed to slide.
I am Laslo.
Sometimes at the 'adult bookstore' a person tries to return a three-foot yellow ribbed polyurethane dildo; this is not allowed, no matter how new it still may look. Maybe try eBay.
I am Laslo.
I am Laslo.
At the 'adult bookstore' one of the theories is that women buy dildos for length, gay men buy them for girth. There are a lot of theories floating around an adult bookstore.
I am Laslo.
I am Laslo.
At the 'adult bookstore' there is a gigantic dildo called 'The Man-Pleaser', but a lot of women buy it, too. I don't see a problem with that.
I am Laslo.
At the 'adult bookstore' some of the dildos are labeled 'kosher'. It is good to know there isn't pork or shellfish used in its manufacture.
This is where the joke about 'porking' would go.
I am Laslo.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Sometimes I think I am too subtle in my insinuations.
As the saying goes, Ginger Rogers had to do everything Astaire did, only backwards and in high heels. In bed. While dealing with two cocks.
As far as dancing, she did a good job of not getting in the way.
I am Laslo.
"As far as dancing, she did a good job of not getting in the way."
This is not meant as an anti-Feminist statement. But it does kinda work that way, too.
I am Laslo.
"While dealing with two cocks."
Upon review, I probably should have written 'two ERECT cocks.' Sometimes I think I am too subtle in my insinuations.
Maybe add 'throbbing,' too.
I am Laslo.
Don't get me going on about Esther Williams.
Let's just say she liked 'water sports.'
Obviously.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/people-dancing-in-movies-are-all-doing.html
As far as dancing, she did a good job of not getting in the way.
I am Laslo.
"As far as dancing, she did a good job of not getting in the way."
This is not meant as an anti-Feminist statement. But it does kinda work that way, too.
I am Laslo.
"While dealing with two cocks."
Upon review, I probably should have written 'two ERECT cocks.' Sometimes I think I am too subtle in my insinuations.
Maybe add 'throbbing,' too.
I am Laslo.
Don't get me going on about Esther Williams.
Let's just say she liked 'water sports.'
Obviously.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/people-dancing-in-movies-are-all-doing.html
Not saying it went down with Harry Reid like this, but it would fit the facts as we know them.
Looks like the smackdown a Pimp would lay on a guy who didn't come up with the cash.
Whether it was a Pimp of women or young boys is hard to tell from the wounds.
I am Laslo.
"Whether it was a Pimp of women or young boys is hard to tell from the wounds."
I'm not necessarily saying Reid likes to sleep with prostituted women or young boys. He may just like the thrill of running out on the check.
I am Laslo.
"I'm not necessarily saying Reid likes to sleep with prostituted women or young boys. He may just like the thrill of running out on the check."
I bet sometimes he doesn't even ejaculate.
Until the prostituted women or young boys pee on him.
I am Laslo.
And I'm not saying that the reporters do not cover Reid's actions because they, too, like to sleep with prostituted women or young boys. It is just a plausible theory.
I am Laslo.
"I would like to think that no organized crime would think it could get away with beating up the ranking Senate Democrat."
That is why I think it was a Pimp: Pimps are more likely to wildcat.
Now, if injuries befall Reid's family and friends, THEN we know Organized Crime is making a point to Mister Reid.
On a side-note: while Organized Crime is involved in the prostitution of women I believe they don't cross the line to small boys.
Thus: Pimp.
I am Laslo.
Not saying it went down with Harry Reid like this, but it would fit the facts as we know them.
I am Laslo.
Whether it was a Pimp of women or young boys is hard to tell from the wounds.
I am Laslo.
"Whether it was a Pimp of women or young boys is hard to tell from the wounds."
I'm not necessarily saying Reid likes to sleep with prostituted women or young boys. He may just like the thrill of running out on the check.
I am Laslo.
"I'm not necessarily saying Reid likes to sleep with prostituted women or young boys. He may just like the thrill of running out on the check."
I bet sometimes he doesn't even ejaculate.
Until the prostituted women or young boys pee on him.
I am Laslo.
And I'm not saying that the reporters do not cover Reid's actions because they, too, like to sleep with prostituted women or young boys. It is just a plausible theory.
I am Laslo.
"I would like to think that no organized crime would think it could get away with beating up the ranking Senate Democrat."
That is why I think it was a Pimp: Pimps are more likely to wildcat.
Now, if injuries befall Reid's family and friends, THEN we know Organized Crime is making a point to Mister Reid.
On a side-note: while Organized Crime is involved in the prostitution of women I believe they don't cross the line to small boys.
Thus: Pimp.
I am Laslo.
"Aren't they supposed to put a dead hooker in his bed?"
Maybe that is at Reid's request: there is nothing about the man that says he wouldn't be into necrophilia.
Other than the inability to receive a golden shower.
So maybe he requires two hookers, one of which is alive and thus able to urinate.
Call me sentimental, but if the hookers are a woman and a small boy I hope the small boy is the one who is still alive.
As they say: pimpin' ain't easy.
I am Laslo.
Maybe that is at Reid's request: there is nothing about the man that says he wouldn't be into necrophilia.
Other than the inability to receive a golden shower.
So maybe he requires two hookers, one of which is alive and thus able to urinate.
Call me sentimental, but if the hookers are a woman and a small boy I hope the small boy is the one who is still alive.
As they say: pimpin' ain't easy.
I am Laslo.
Those corrupted by Power cannot help but degrade others; many choose to also degrade themselves, in private, as perhaps a form of penance.
Example: putting a cigar in a young employee's genitalia would be considered by most to be an act of degradation through abuse of Power.
Harry Reid's hidden desire to have people urinate on him shows the subconscious need to degrade himself in his self-awareness of his corruption.
With this in mind, I bet there is an entire 'Golden Shower' subset in the Halls of Congress. An enterprising reporter might want to ask some prostitutes some questions. Perhaps.
I am Laslo.
Example: putting a cigar in a young employee's genitalia would be considered by most to be an act of degradation through abuse of Power.
Harry Reid's hidden desire to have people urinate on him shows the subconscious need to degrade himself in his self-awareness of his corruption.
With this in mind, I bet there is an entire 'Golden Shower' subset in the Halls of Congress. An enterprising reporter might want to ask some prostitutes some questions. Perhaps.
I am Laslo.
From Urban Dictionary:
Mexican Baptism:
When one is pissed on by a mexican as a baby
"The women left her baby outside for a minute when she had came back she found her baby covered in piss her baby had recieved a mexican baptism."
Is it too much to imagine that this baby was not indeed Harry Reid?
Mexico IS close to Nevada.
Maybe the new trend towards open borders hinges on Reid's acquiring greater access to young immigrant Mexican boys to piss on him.
They also do gardening.
I am Laslo.
Mexican Baptism:
When one is pissed on by a mexican as a baby
"The women left her baby outside for a minute when she had came back she found her baby covered in piss her baby had recieved a mexican baptism."
Is it too much to imagine that this baby was not indeed Harry Reid?
Mexico IS close to Nevada.
Maybe the new trend towards open borders hinges on Reid's acquiring greater access to young immigrant Mexican boys to piss on him.
They also do gardening.
I am Laslo.
Not saying it went down with Harry Reid like this, but it would fit the facts as we know them.
I am Laslo.
Dr Weevil said...
"...it is deeply dishonest to lump together as "clowns" literal clowns like 'Laslo Spatula' and metaphorical clowns like various politicians. Nor does he apologize for lumping together all the "right-wing conservatives" who comment here with 'Laslo Spatula' who seems to be an apolitical clown."
Perhaps a poll is in order.
Is Laslo a literal clown?
Is Laslo a "right-wing conservative"?
Is Laslo an apolitical clown?
Does Laslo wear big red floppy shoes?
I'm sure Althouse could find appropriate questions.
I am Laslo.
"...it is deeply dishonest to lump together as "clowns" literal clowns like 'Laslo Spatula' and metaphorical clowns like various politicians. Nor does he apologize for lumping together all the "right-wing conservatives" who comment here with 'Laslo Spatula' who seems to be an apolitical clown."
Perhaps a poll is in order.
Is Laslo a literal clown?
Is Laslo a "right-wing conservative"?
Is Laslo an apolitical clown?
Does Laslo wear big red floppy shoes?
I'm sure Althouse could find appropriate questions.
I am Laslo.
Thank you, corduroy pants.
I do not wear shorts in public.
On the weekends of warm weather I wear corduroy pants. Chicks in skintight yoga pants LOVE to sit on the lap of a man wearing corduroy pants.
I think it is the ribbing: it makes for a naught wiggle.
I am Laslo.
When a Man such as myself wears corduroy pants the women on his lap often call it 'lap-surfing'.
It requires a gentle move of the hips.
On both parts.
I am Laslo.
The women known as chicks love corduroy because it provides the subterfuge of passive excitement. '
Chicks like to pretend the excitement is passive until they have an orgasm.
Thank you, corduroy pants.
I am Laslo.
A woman in yoga pants sitting on the lap of a man wearing corduroy pants has already committed to emitting little squealy sounds.
The women who deny this have never worn yoga pants and sat on a lap of male corduroy.
The sounds remind me of happy dolphins.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/i-have-to-say-that-one-of-biggest.html
On the weekends of warm weather I wear corduroy pants. Chicks in skintight yoga pants LOVE to sit on the lap of a man wearing corduroy pants.
I think it is the ribbing: it makes for a naught wiggle.
I am Laslo.
When a Man such as myself wears corduroy pants the women on his lap often call it 'lap-surfing'.
It requires a gentle move of the hips.
On both parts.
I am Laslo.
The women known as chicks love corduroy because it provides the subterfuge of passive excitement. '
Chicks like to pretend the excitement is passive until they have an orgasm.
Thank you, corduroy pants.
I am Laslo.
A woman in yoga pants sitting on the lap of a man wearing corduroy pants has already committed to emitting little squealy sounds.
The women who deny this have never worn yoga pants and sat on a lap of male corduroy.
The sounds remind me of happy dolphins.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/i-have-to-say-that-one-of-biggest.html
Friday, March 27, 2015
Oh, the things the Laslo Pillow has seen.
Scarlett Johansson has a pillow printed with a likeness of me, Laslo, for when she is away and we cannot be naked in bed together. She likes to hold the Laslo Pillow between her naked breasts in hotel rooms and wiggle-wiggle. I am good with this.
I am Laslo.
Scarlett Johansson, when she is away and we cannot be naked in bed together, sometimes makes use of a large yellow ribbed polyurethane dildo on the hotel bed and makes the Laslo Pillow watch.
Oh, the things the Laslo Pillow has seen in Scarlett's hotel rooms. I have requested video.
I am Laslo.
Sometimes when we are having sex Scarlett Johannson asks me to pretend to smother her with the Laslo Pillow. This is not weird because we are playing the "Ted Bundy Game." Stop: it was her request.
I am Laslo.
When Scarlett and I play the "Ted Bundy Game" she sometimes chokes a pillow with a picture of Taylor Swift on it with a pair of Taylor Swift's panties. I had told Taylor Swift not to leave her panties at my place, but this is now where we are.
Again: the things the Laslo Pillow has seen.
I am Laslo.
You do have to be careful when giving out pillows with a likeness of yourself.
An ex-girlfriend sent me a photo of her Laslo Pillow with the eyes stabbed out and a giant red lipstick 'X' over the mouth.
Alyssa Milano could get so mad sometimes.
I am Laslo.
Monday, March 23, 2015
Studies show that the vast majority of graduates of the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies achieve their career goal.
At Laslo University, the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies needs more female students that look like Scarlett Johansson. This is for an Important Study. Of course.
I am Laslo.
Note to female students that look like Scarlett Johansson: nudity is not required for passing the class, but if you want to be a 'C' student all your life etc etc...
I am Laslo.
One study at the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies compares the range of nipple variations amongst the female students that look like Scarlett Johansson.
Something about 'deviations from the norm', maybe; still working on the syllabus.
I am Laslo.
At the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies we also welcome students that look like Alyssa Milano. Or a young Phoebe Cates.
This is part of the 'Breast Comparison' curriculum.
Female students that look like Taylor Swift should take the 'Legs Comparison' class.
I am Laslo.
At the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies there is a very fine Arts program. "Scarlett Johansson Interpretive Vagina Painting" is a particular favorite.
Note that this entails painting interpretations of Scarlett Johansson's vagina: female students who look like Scarlett Johansson and paint WITH their vaginas are in another building.
The one with the big windows.
I am Laslo.
The School of Scarlett Johansson Studies is Progressive: for instance, there is a class for examining the Insights of Lesbian Women who want to have sex with Scarlett Johansson. Just because the Insights are Hot does not make them invalid.
I am Laslo.
As an example of its commitment to education, the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies provides mentors for female students who look like Scarlett Johansson.
There are quite a lot of volunteers who want to be mentors.
I am Laslo.
I am Laslo.
Note to female students that look like Scarlett Johansson: nudity is not required for passing the class, but if you want to be a 'C' student all your life etc etc...
I am Laslo.
One study at the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies compares the range of nipple variations amongst the female students that look like Scarlett Johansson.
Something about 'deviations from the norm', maybe; still working on the syllabus.
I am Laslo.
At the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies we also welcome students that look like Alyssa Milano. Or a young Phoebe Cates.
This is part of the 'Breast Comparison' curriculum.
Female students that look like Taylor Swift should take the 'Legs Comparison' class.
I am Laslo.
At the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies there is a very fine Arts program. "Scarlett Johansson Interpretive Vagina Painting" is a particular favorite.
Note that this entails painting interpretations of Scarlett Johansson's vagina: female students who look like Scarlett Johansson and paint WITH their vaginas are in another building.
The one with the big windows.
I am Laslo.
The School of Scarlett Johansson Studies is Progressive: for instance, there is a class for examining the Insights of Lesbian Women who want to have sex with Scarlett Johansson. Just because the Insights are Hot does not make them invalid.
I am Laslo.
As an example of its commitment to education, the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies provides mentors for female students who look like Scarlett Johansson.
There are quite a lot of volunteers who want to be mentors.
I am Laslo.
Studies show that the vast majority of graduates of the School of Scarlett Johansson Studies achieve their career goal of marrying rich men.
I am Laslo.
I am Laslo.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
And I'll pay to have the cheerleader outfit dry-cleaned, good-as-new: I promise.
The skill, with cheerleaders, is to recognize the midway point of high-school demigod and cashier at Costco. That is the prime point of accessibility before the Cheerleader outfit leaves the top shelf of the closet.
It is like the point between 'new-car-smell' and the first big dent you can't afford to repair.
I am Laslo.
The problem with the ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl is that she has, by now, inevitably dated a lot of losers who wanted to do weird super-freaky sex things with her, and now she is wary when you -- out of a place of caring and support -- want to do weird super-freaky sex things with her, too. Baby, it's me: it's not bukkake if there is only one guy ejaculating all over you.
And I'll pay to have the cheerleader outfit dry-cleaned, good-as-new: I promise.
I am Laslo.
The ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl has never gotten over giving a 'Pep Rally'.
In her ass.
I am Laslo.
At the end of the evening the ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl knows you are trying to sneak out of her apartment with her red cheerleader panties. Just stop.
I am Laslo.
The ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl has heard the "Give me a 'B', Give me a 'J'" cheer before: have some standards. Dude.
I am Laslo.
No, the ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl isn't still in contact with any "old high-school cheerleader pals" who would want to join us for the night; sorry if the absence of a cheerleader threesome renders tonight's doggy-style sex-in-the-cheerleader-outfit a disappointment.
Bang away, I will use the time to put together a grocery list in my head. For example: I need more Monistat-7.
I am Laslo.
The ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl asks if you could be the ONE guy who doesn't try to film on your iPhone her on her knees in her high-school cheerleader outfit giving you a blow-job. Because that would be nice.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/but-abolishing-high-school-would-not.html'
It is like the point between 'new-car-smell' and the first big dent you can't afford to repair.
I am Laslo.
The problem with the ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl is that she has, by now, inevitably dated a lot of losers who wanted to do weird super-freaky sex things with her, and now she is wary when you -- out of a place of caring and support -- want to do weird super-freaky sex things with her, too. Baby, it's me: it's not bukkake if there is only one guy ejaculating all over you.
And I'll pay to have the cheerleader outfit dry-cleaned, good-as-new: I promise.
I am Laslo.
The ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl has never gotten over giving a 'Pep Rally'.
In her ass.
I am Laslo.
At the end of the evening the ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl knows you are trying to sneak out of her apartment with her red cheerleader panties. Just stop.
I am Laslo.
The ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl has heard the "Give me a 'B', Give me a 'J'" cheer before: have some standards. Dude.
I am Laslo.
No, the ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl isn't still in contact with any "old high-school cheerleader pals" who would want to join us for the night; sorry if the absence of a cheerleader threesome renders tonight's doggy-style sex-in-the-cheerleader-outfit a disappointment.
Bang away, I will use the time to put together a grocery list in my head. For example: I need more Monistat-7.
I am Laslo.
The ex-high-school-cheerleader Costco cashier girl asks if you could be the ONE guy who doesn't try to film on your iPhone her on her knees in her high-school cheerleader outfit giving you a blow-job. Because that would be nice.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/but-abolishing-high-school-would-not.html'
Too many homoerotic issues to untangle, probably.
Now, the 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': most men would probably ask only one question: does it make me any bigger?
And still would no doubt say 'No', regardless. Too many homoerotic issues to untangle, probably.
Clint Eastwood: maybe.
I am Laslo.
The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': it doesn't come with balls.
He is married to Angelina Jolie, for God Sake: of course it doesn't come with balls.
I am Laslo.
The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': in case you ever really, really want to fuck George Clooney.
I am Laslo.
"The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': in case you ever want to fuck George Clooney."
Or Matt Damon.
The problem with Matt Damon is HE will spend all the time fucking George Clooney.
And he always invites Ben Affleck to watch.
Awkward.
I am Laslo.
The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': didn't he fuck Gwyneth Paltrow back in the day?
Deal-breaker.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/in-recent-years-new-korean-word-sung.html
And still would no doubt say 'No', regardless. Too many homoerotic issues to untangle, probably.
Clint Eastwood: maybe.
I am Laslo.
The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': it doesn't come with balls.
He is married to Angelina Jolie, for God Sake: of course it doesn't come with balls.
I am Laslo.
The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': in case you ever really, really want to fuck George Clooney.
I am Laslo.
"The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': in case you ever want to fuck George Clooney."
Or Matt Damon.
The problem with Matt Damon is HE will spend all the time fucking George Clooney.
And he always invites Ben Affleck to watch.
Awkward.
I am Laslo.
The 'Brad Pitt Penis Surgery': didn't he fuck Gwyneth Paltrow back in the day?
Deal-breaker.
I am Laslo.
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/in-recent-years-new-korean-word-sung.html
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