Scarlett Johansson has a pillow printed with a likeness of me, Laslo, for when she is away and we cannot be naked in bed together. She likes to hold the Laslo Pillow between her naked breasts in hotel rooms and wiggle-wiggle. I am good with this.
I am Laslo.
Scarlett Johansson, when she is away and we cannot be naked in bed together, sometimes makes use of a large yellow ribbed polyurethane dildo on the hotel bed and makes the Laslo Pillow watch.
Oh, the things the Laslo Pillow has seen in Scarlett's hotel rooms. I have requested video.
I am Laslo.
Sometimes when we are having sex Scarlett Johannson asks me to pretend to smother her with the Laslo Pillow. This is not weird because we are playing the "Ted Bundy Game." Stop: it was her request.
I am Laslo.
When Scarlett and I play the "Ted Bundy Game" she sometimes chokes a pillow with a picture of Taylor Swift on it with a pair of Taylor Swift's panties. I had told Taylor Swift not to leave her panties at my place, but this is now where we are.
Again: the things the Laslo Pillow has seen.
I am Laslo.
You do have to be careful when giving out pillows with a likeness of yourself.
An ex-girlfriend sent me a photo of her Laslo Pillow with the eyes stabbed out and a giant red lipstick 'X' over the mouth.
Alyssa Milano could get so mad sometimes.
I am Laslo.
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