Which is why I don't even bother with the psychiatrist's medications anymore: they just made me fat and slow, like everyone else.

The Amateur Anesthesiologist...

When I was in high school my mother was having problems with my behavior. I was a bit wild, I admit it, but I figured I was just a teenager. Anyway, I pushed a girl against her locker and rubbed her breasts for a moment. I didn't think it was any big deal, but the Principal suspended me and told my mother I needed professional help. So my mother took me to a psychiatrist and it turns out I wasn't a teenager, I was a sociopath...

It's been years since then, and I'm still not sure what it really means to me. I guess it's bad, but I don't know what the alternative is, so it is just me. Not much I can do about that. And, frankly, I don't feel the need to do anything about that in the first place...

People get mad at some of the things I do, but, to me, they just look silly when they do that. They act like ants. Ants, walking in a row. Ants get stepped on; it happens. I guess I'm supposed to think people are more important than ants, but if they act that way, what's the difference, really...?

Some people like me, some people don't like me. I'm the same guy, so it seems that if there is a problem, the problem is outside of me, which is why I don't even bother with the psychiatrist's medications anymore: they just made me fat and slow, like everyone else. Maybe most people are ants, and I'm a spider. I'm a spider, and I'm fast. That could make sense...

What was I talking about? Oh yeah: giving Roofies to girls at bars. My understanding is that people drink to lose their inhibitions. I don't have any inhibitions, so the whole idea seems stupid to me. Just stop pretending. People, always pretending to be something else, because they just can't handle who they truly are: it's pathetic...

But these girls, getting drunk to have a good time; it is a delusion. They are deluding themselves into thinking that they are something more than interchangeable meat. You work in a box. You go to school in a box. You eat in a box. You sleep in a box. Meat. Or -- if you prefer -- there are ants to be crushed and flies to be eaten. There are many ways to describe how the world works, but you wouldn't listen, anyway. You are not above me, you are in front of me, in my way. But never for long...

I am Laslo.