Hack Comic Mic Nite...
Trump, man... what a fucking mess we got into, right..?
Yeah, yeah: the dude is weird. Weird hair, weird tweets, you know the deal. But I've been giving this some thought, and here's the thing: AMERICA is weird. We're a strange, weird, fucked up people, and that's the way we like it. We pretend we don't, we pretend we like things to be calm and orderly, but that is not how Americans are wired: we get BORED with the normal -- if things are too steady we get ourselves itchy to fuck things up...
America is road rage and cat videos. We made Kim Kardashian a star, just to show we could. We've got Thug Life and we got the Amish. And all this shit bounces off each other and we get off on the fireworks and film it with our iPhones...
And now we got Trump. And the problem isn't that he's weird, but that he's not weird enough. We were expecting crazy loose shit, we were expecting motherfucking EPIC weird, and it turns out he is just regular old American Weird...
C'mon, admit it: you WANTED to see concentration camps in North Dakota and nukes flying: you were itchy for it. But instead we got, well, weird hair and weird tweets. And I think this is driving some of us crazy. WE WANT THE FIREWORKS! It's like that old song: "Is that all there is?" Is it really only going to be weird hair and weird tweets? Really...?
Now, I know: there's time. North Korea's heating up, and maybe we're getting that itch to finally see some nukes: to show we were RIGHT about him -- we are THAT fucked up. But here's what I think is going to go down: more weird hair and more weird tweets. That's it. And the only thing left will be to masturbate to Melania with sweet, sweet hate...
These are just jokes, people: I mean no offense to our lovely First Lady: I LIKE having a First Lady I can finally jerk off to...
You've been a great audience, thank you for laughing...
I am Laslo.
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