Bruce Springsteen on Broadway...
Man, those Jersey days, sometimes I can't even believe I was that young. It was like just me and my guitar against the world, you know? And sometimes the world kicked the ass of a skinny Jersey punk like me...
I'd love to say I don't regret a thing, but then I think about Handshake Deke. Deke, he was always on the make, shaking hands and stealing wallets, real Jersey...
Well, one day Handshake Deke paid me to let him fuck me in the ass. What can I say, I needed the money bad, my guitar was in the pawn shop. Without my guitar I'm nowhere, you know...?
Well, Deke fucks me in the ass and then gives me my money, and I go down to the pawn shop, only Pawnshop Pete tells me it's not twenty dollars to get my guitar back, now it's twenty-five...
Five more bucks? Five bucks back then was like fifty, and fifty was like a hundred, you know what I mean...
So Pawnshop Pete says I can't give you your guitar, but I'll let you have a tambourine for twenty bucks. What can I say, I took the tambourine...
You know how hard it is, writing songs on tambourine? I tried, man: I tried. But that damn tambourine, it wasn't me, you know...?
Anyway, I'm at my shitty little apartment thinking about my shitty little life, when Handshake Deke shows up at the door. And -- guess what -- he's holding my guitar. What can I say? I let him fuck me in the ass again, and the guitar was mine...
Now, I was talking about regret, right? And I don't regret letting Handshake Deke fuck me in the ass -- it was about a guitar, right? But I DO regret pawning that guitar in the first place, that's what I regret.
So anyway, here's a song I'm a-gonna play for you: it's called 'Handshake Deke and the Tambourine'...
I am Laslo.
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