Monday, May 25, 2015

The correct course of action seems obvious, but the problem is compounded when the Neo-Nazi is hot.


There is a line you cross when you move from the second date to the third: at two dates you just happened to date a Neo-Nazi, at three you basically have a Neo-Nazi Girlfriend. 

The correct course of action seems obvious, but the problem is compounded when the Neo-Nazi is hot. Hot, and she'll massage your balls under the table at Denny's with her feet.

Still, you would eventually have to introduce her to your friends -- friends that have not had their balls massaged under the table at Denny's by her feet -- and you are forced to realize: this is probably not going to work.

And the problem will not go away by itself: not when your inbox is filling with emails from "WhitePowerGirl0069". And yes: there are cute cat pictures. A Neo-Nazi Girl is still a girl, after all. Meaning also: emoticons.

But breaking up with a Neo-Nazi has its own special challenges, one of which is the fear of her Neo-Nazi room-mate F-Ready beating the hell out of you.

So we went to Denny's and had a Meaningful Discussion, very civilized and adult. Then -- after she massaged my balls under the table with her feet -- we went back to her place and had sex. 

That night I wake feverish from a dream where the Neo-Nazi and I are about to marry, and F-Ready is my Best Man. With WITE HATE tattooed on his knuckles.

I am Laslo.


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