Ben: if you're out there, get in touch..

The Alternate Cornpone Self-Effacing Obama routine:

Let's get this out of the way first: yes, I will be reading all of this from a tele-prompter. There is nothing in my Muslim faith that prohibits me from doing so...

C'mon folks: just because my middle name is "Hussein" doesn't make me a Muslim. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I should count my blessings, though: at least I didn't name one of my daughters 'ISIS'...

I've been criticized for perhaps golfing too much. You'd think that the people who don't like my policies would want me out of the Office and golfing as much as possible -- Joe Biden told me that one...

Seriously, people: have you not heard of multi-tasking? When I'm golfing I'm also thinking about world affairs. Trust me: my golf game would be a lot better if I wasn't also thinking deeply about the Middle East on the Eighteenth hole...

Speaking of the Middle East: people keep asking me about what really happened regarding Benghazi. I would like to give a better answer, but Mr. Ghazi won't return my calls. Ben: if you're out there, get in touch..

There is a lot of talk about Gay Marriage these days. As you know, my position evolved. Now, would I have married Michelle if she was a man? Well, she already has bigger biceps than me, so...

Somehow I have gotten the reputation for being a bit thin-skinned. Don't worry, though: I have the Secret Service checking into where these rumors started...

I have to tell you: it is hard being the first black President. Sometimes I feel like Jackie Robinson, if Jackie Robinson had thrown a baseball like a girl...

There has been a lot of talk about me not wanting to work with the Republicans. That is simply not true. I put out an olive branch to Speaker of the House John Boehner, but somehow the message got messed up and he spent an evening waiting for me to show up at the Olive Garden. Good thing there was all-you-can eat pasta...

Seriously, John: You, me, Applebee's. But we'll split the check...


I am Laslo.


http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/04/being-president-is-never-easy-i-still.html