Diary of Lena Dunham's Dog (excerpt)...
I'm a dog: I don't understand the peoples. I was so happy-happy to get a home. Home! Home! I could go inside and I could go outside and I could go inside again! Happy Happy!
I thought things they were Good! I like to Play and I like to be with my Peoples -- I wagged my tail A LOT! Wag! I got to go to different places with my Peoples and smell different Things! I couldn't wait to get in the car!
But my Peoples, she would cry a lot. I didn't understand, but I would try to make her Happy Again! I would! I would try to make her Happy Again!
I know I'm just a dog, but I thought things they were Good! I think I said that before, but that was what I thought. Sometimes I didn't like the Peoples she brought home -- they would leave in the middle of the night and she would cry -- but I tried to understand. I never wanted to leave in the middle of the night. Not me: I had a warm place to sleep, I was with my Peoples, and I would get food in the morning: that's Pretty Good!
Sometimes my People would have the Ice Cream. I LIKE ICE CREAM! But she would eat Ice Cream on the couch and cry. I don't get it: you're on the couch, which is Good, AND you're eating Ice Cream which is Good-Good! You have to be a very sad peoples to cry when you are on the couch and eating Ice Cream.
I don't know what happened. We got in the car -- I like car rides! -- but then she took me to a Place and left me. I was Sure she was going to come back for me -- she was my Peoples! -- but every day she didn't come back. Then every day became more every days, and still she didn't come back.
Maybe she is very Sick and doesn't want me to see her that way. But it would be alright, I would understand, I would give her Love and maybe she'd feel better a little.
I don't understand peoples: I think I said that before.
I am Laslo.