Theodore: My Beloved White Brethren, this is the first time we have communed together since our spiritual cousin Dylann Storm Roof took upon himself to spur the White Man to Action against the Negro Blight and we must ask Ourselves: Is Now the Time for Us to Follow?
Ron: That's a mighty big question, Theodore.
Wilbur: Mighty big, Ted.
Theodore: Gentlemen, at some point we have to do more than just write hate letters to people...
Bob: Well, Theodore, I'd just like to say that my website is hardly just 'hate letters'. I get hundreds of hits everyday, and I've got my very own FBI-agent Imposter posing as one of us. Guy's a damn-good writer, too: you really believe he hates niggers.
Theodore: I am not downplaying your success on the Internet. I am asking: Is it Time for More?
Jake: Ummm...
Theodore: Yes, Jake?
Jake: I think it's a bad idea to kill 'em in Churches, that's all.
Ron: I agree with Jake on that one. Makes us look bad.
Wilbur: Makes us look real bad, Ted.
Bob: I mean -- after all -- God did make the Black Man, too --
Theodore: There is still Debate about that, Bob --
Bob: And I'm just saying a House of God is a House of God.
Ron: Unless it's a mosque.
Wilbur: A mosque is real different.
Jake: My Dad used to say God shoulda made the black man with horns so everyone would know he was meant to be a beast of burden.
Jed: That's a real good idea, I don't know why God didn't think of it Himself...
Wilbur: My Dad said the black man should've been half-goat. Pretty much for the reasons you've described.
Ron: More obvious.
Wilbur: Right: More obvious.
Ron: I don't care if it's a church full of Chink Fags, I say we leave it alone.
Bob: While I am not as worried as Ron about the Chinese Homosexual Menace, I believe we do 'leave it alone'...
Theodore: Gentlemen, it sounds like we've agreed: no shooting up black churches.
Ron: Unless it's a mosque.
Wilbur: A mosque is real different, Ted.
Theodore: So what would be a Good Target, Gentlemen?
Jed: Fried Chicken place.
Ron: I was gonna say that.
Wilbur: I was gonna say that, too.
Bob: But what if the Fried Chicken place has a white cashier?
Ron: Or howabouts a white GIRL cashier?
Wilbur: That would be trouble.
Bob: Gentlemen, that could set us wayyyyy back on our 'Twenty Dollar Minimum Wage For White Workers' Movement...
Ron: The 'Twenty Dollar Minimum Wage For White Workers' Movement. I forgot about that. I remember now.
Bob: It sells a LOT of bumper-stickers from my web-site.
Jed: Friends, it sounds like we need to be doing a lot more thinking.
Wilbur: A lot more thinking, yeah.
Ron: BIG thinking.
Jed: What if -- just for now -- we keep up with our 'Staring at Black People Real Mean at Fred's Gas Station' program until we get a Good Plan?
Ron: I like that.
Wilbur. I like that a lot.
Bob: Gentlemen, we can certainly do that, but it is time for someone else to take over the Friday night Midnight-to-Six shift...
Jed: Is there a problem there, Bob?
Bob: It ain't like starin' down the black folks on their lunch hour during the workweek, Jed. You should see some of the niggers that come out at three in the morning: some scary-ass shit, I'll tell you, all drunk on crunk or whatever they call it. It is someone else's turn...
Theodore: Gentlemen,gentlemen: by not furthering Our Actions do you not think we are letting our spiritual cousin Dylann Storm Roof down?
Ron: There were a lot of 'nots' in that question, Theodore -- I'm not sure how to answer.
Wilbur: It lost me there, too.
Bob: I just want to say that WE didn't tell our spiritual cousin Dylann Storm Roof to start shit up.
Jed: True: I don't ever recall us voting for that.
Ron: We've been going along fine just doing what we're doing, if you ask me, Theodore.
Wilbur: Just fine indeed, Ted.
Bob: As long as someone takes over my Friday Night shift.
Jed: I sure as hell ain't doing that. Someone could get hurt.
Ron: How 'bout we suspend the Friday Night shift until further notice. Maybe we just team up a bit more on Monday mornings.
Wilbur: Before the kids gotta get to school.
Theodore: We will utilize that option, and consider the meeting adjourned. Is that black girl still workin' at Hooters?
Ron: Nahhhh, she's at Starbucks now. Pouring fancy gay coffee shit.
Wilbur: Yeah. Fancy gay coffee shit.
Theodore: So Gentlemen, let's meet at Hooters...
I am Laslo.
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