"Cause I would do Porn with Tom Cruise: I'd show HIM my asshole."

"Hey, girl."

"What?"

"I'm on Strike."

"You're on Strike? I hope your Union helps you."

"Wait: my Union is the One of Men. Men do Bad Things. I'm on Strike -- Sex Strike -- until that stops."

"Wow. How long do you think it will be until that happens?"

"Not THAT long: my movie is gonna solve it."

"Your movie?"

"Don't you recognize me? I'm Spike Lee."

"I knew Spike Lee was short, but you're even shorter than that."

"That's funny, yeah."

"No, I'm serious: I didn't know Spike Lee actually made movies -- I just thought he was some clingy friend of Samuel Jackson and Charles Barkley that got to be in those Capital One Credit Card ads."

"I do those commercials to Show the Man I have Power."

"Power? You get a lower interest rate?"

"No, no: Power. HOLLYWOOD Power."

"So what movies have you done?"

"Have you ever seen "Do The Right Thing?"

"Yeah."

"Well: that was me."

"That was the one with the pizza joint, right?"

"Yeah!"

"I saw it on Cable for awhile, but then I clicked over to 'Titanic'."

"Do you know Denzel Washington?"

"Hell yeah I know Denzel!"

"Well: he starred in my film 'Malcolm X'."

"'Malcolm X'?"

"Yeah!"

"Is that the one where he is the troubled bad-ass that has to kill and fuck over a bunch of guys to rescue the white girl?"

"No, that isn't it."

"Because I think Denzel has done three or four movies like that. I like those."

"Mine was about a Historical Figure of Great Importance."

"I think killing and fucking over a bunch of guys to rescue a white girl is pretty bad-ass, Historically Great Importance-like."

"Can we stop talking about the white girl?"

"No white girl? You telling me Denzel was in 'Precious'?"

"No, no --"

"Cause I remember that fat girl and Monique, but I don't remember no Denzel."

"That was a different movie --"

"Have you seen "The Hunger Games"? Cause I like that shit."

"That's not --"

"I mean, if "The Hunger Games" had Denzel that would be SO much better, but Kat's my bitch. You know?"

"I'm trying to work on a different level --"

"Different level? You trying to get me to do Porn for you, you Little Fuck?"

"No, I --"

"Cause you are A. Little. Fuck. and I ain't showing my asshole to you or any of your friends: Samuel Jackson included!"

"That's not what I --"

"Have you made a movie with Tom Cruise?"

"What?"

"Cause I would do Porn with Tom Cruise: I'd show HIM my asshole."

"I never worked with Tom Cruise..."

"Ha! And you say you have Hollywood Power? You're less than Chris Rock, and everyone knows that Chris Rock is a Little Bitch."

"Now you're getting abusive --"

"Abusive? What are you going to do, Little Man, are you going to go Denzel on me?"

"No, I am not gonna go Denzel on you..."

"Damned right. You ain't GOT no Denzel in you, Little Bitch."

"I --"

"Just walk away now; go find Urkel..."

I am Laslo.

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/11/spike-lee-predicts-sex-strike.html