At the Authenticity Seminar:
"People, we are the only Me we Will Be, The Me of You and You Alone. You, in the second row: what is your Authentic 'Me'?"
"The Inauthentic Me was weak, afraid, paranoid. I now realize the Inauthentic Me was just hiding myself from Exploiting the weakness and fear of Others. The Authentic Me knows I am not Paranoid, but Fully Aware, and this Awareness enables me to Identify the Inauthenticity in other People."
"I'm not really sure you should use the word "exploit," but otherwise I think you have made Great Progress."
"Yeah. Like I can tell that the guy to my left is Gay. Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay."
"What? I'm not gay!"
"Just let your Inauthentic Self keep telling you that."
"But I'm not gay!"
"You are not just Gay, you are Ashamed to be Gay. You gotta get Authentic, man."
"I am NOT Ashamed because I am NOT Authentically Gay!"
"So your Authentic Self believes Gays should be Ashamed?"
"I didn't say that!"
"It is common for People with Shame to project that Shame on others."
"I am not projecting anything, you asshole!"
Oh. You are Ashamed to be Gay and now you view me as an Asshole? Like an Asshole to be fucked Homosexually? Is that it? Do you not see how your Authentic Self is crying out to be heard?"
"My Authentic Self wants to kick your ass --"
"People! People! Self-Authentification can be hard, but we must not resort to violence."
"My Authentic Self abhors violence. I just don't want this Gay Guy sucking my Cock."
"I DO NOT want to suck your cock!"
"It's a fine cock. Do you not even want to see it?"
"I DO NOT want to look at your cock!"
"Um -- Excuse me?"
"Yes, yes: you in the back."
"Well, I'm Authentically Gay, and I am more than willing to suck on the Gay Guy's cock."
"I am NOT Gay!"
"People, I believe we need to let this Man have the Emotional Room he needs to make Peace with his Authentic Gay Self: Awareness doesn't necessarily come overnight."
"But. I. Am. NOT. Gay."
"Dude, Just because you haven't sucked on a cock yet doesn't mean you're not Gay."
"People! Listen Inward, because that is where All Truth will be found."
"Can we -- please -- just move onto someone else?"
"I think that is a good idea. You, in the fourth row?"
"I have learned that my Authentic Self likes to grope women on buses..."
I am Laslo.
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