Comparatively, semen is not that acidic.

n the late Nineties Jenna Jameson did her own tour portraying Mark Twain. From her show:

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Try not to gag.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Unless you open it to suck cock, which then should shut them the fuck up.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company, Vegas for the strippers.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. As are blow-jobs. So they are now bilingual.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. But you still have to swallow one or the other.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. If it paid more than porn.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Comparatively, semen is not that acidic.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. And stay at eighteen. With an eighteen-year-old's ass. And breasts. And snug vagina.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the doggy-style.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. And if you have to eat three frogs I hope they bathed, because French women don't do that alot.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn about pussy in no other way.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. It makes the number of times I've sucked cock look small, really.

There are lies, damned lies and statistics. Then statutory rape. Daddy.

The man who does not view good porn has no advantage over the man who cannot see it.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. And sucking. I would also include tickling the balls.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.


I am Laslo.


http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/07/on-may-10-1884-midway-through-his-48th.html