Him: Trump is no Republican. He’s just a big fat ego.
Me: Then why didn’t you speak out against him during the campaign?
Him: You kidding? I was surrounded by Trump voters. I’d have been shot.
Me: I know the feeling. I hear that Hillary has a list of the people she blames for her loss. Please: if I happen to have an ‘accident’ know that it wasn’t an accident.
Him: Seriously?
Me: Oh yeah. People are going are going to be dropping like flies. Hillary wants blood.
Him: But surely people will notice all of this?
Me: What? The vast right-wing conspiracy? People accidentally walk in front of trains all the time. Car accidents, suicides. Shit happens.
Him: Aren’t you afraid?
Me: I danced with the devil. I get what’s coming to me.
Him: I know you, Robert: you’ll beg for mercy like a little bitch.
Me: (laughter). You DO know me. I AM a little bitch. I’m a four-foot-eleven little bitch, and I’m going to sob and beg for my life. It won’t matter, though: there is no mercy in Hillary’s dark soul.
Him: I’m sorry, man….
Me: I just hope it’s not an embarrassing death, like sexual asphyxiation. Or small boys being involved…
Him: Wait — so are you saying PizzaGate is true?
Me: (laughter) Let’s save THAT story for my ’suicide note’…
I am Laslo.
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