Sketchy Guy Who Works at the Adult Bookstore says:
There is a gently befuddled old man who visits the store here every few weeks; perhaps his most distinguishing feature in these parts is that he is clean and well-groomed, save for the white hairs prickling in his ears. The first time he came he wandered aimlessly through the aisles for awhile, and I thought he must be in the wrong place: maybe someones dementia-addled grandfather got away from his home, perhaps…
Of course, this did not prove to be the case. After his aimless wandering he approached the counter and asked if we had any films of Jaynes Mansfield fucking…
“I’m sorry, but we don’t carry old Hollywood movies,” I said, believing I misheard him. But, no: I did not mishear him.
“I want to see Jaynes Mansfield fucking,” he replied, nodding. “I’m sure there must be some films around of Jaynes Mansfield fucking.”
“Not that I know of,” I answered, adding that he might check out the internet but don’t get his hopes up…
He left the store shaking his head, but was back a few weeks later.
“I want to see Kim Novak fucking,” he said, looking me in the eye, “Not Hollywood shit, but real fucking.”
“I’m afraid all we have of stars fucking is in the “Celebrities Fucking” aisle.”
“I looked there,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t know who any of those young people are. Except Paris Hilton. That girl can really suck a cock, I tell you.”
A few weeks later he returned again.
“I want to see Rhonda Fleming fucking,” he said, looking me in the eye, “Not Hollywood shit, but real fucking.”
“I’m not familiar with her,” I replied.
“Not familiar with her? She was in “Spellbound”: that was a great movie, I tell you.”
“That was Hitchcock, right?”
“Yes, yes. Hitch had an eye for the women. I’d love to see any of his stars fucking: Grace Kelly, Ingrid Bergman, Kim Novak, Tippi Hedren. Those were REAL women.”
“Indeed,” I said: I love a good Hitchcock film, and Hitchcock DID have great taste in blondes...
“I’d love to see Grace Kelly get fucked in the ass. I bet Cary Grant, he fucked her in the ass. I bet.”
“I would watch that,” I said, and he smiled in camaraderie.
“What about Zsa Zsa Gabor? Do you have any films of her fucking?”
“Zsa Zsa? Wow. I’m afraid not…”
“She HAD to be a dirty, dirty girl, for all those men to marry her. She must have definitely liked getting fucked in the ass. Most Hungarian girls like getting fucked in the ass.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Oh, you bet. Dirty, dirty girls, those Hungarians. I bet Zsa Zsa had gang-bangs by the dozens: cocks in her mouth, cocks in her ass — I sure would like to get a film of it.”
“If I see anything you’ll be the first to know.”
“I appreciate that, son,” he said before he left. Strange old guy, but I have to admit: he is probably the only customer I look forward to seeing again…
I am Laslo.