“About this topless scene…”
“We’ll film it very tastefully, Emma. We’ll make sure you won’t look fat, if that is what you’re worried about.”
“Fat? No: it’s just that in the script I’m wearing a bra…”
“We need this for character development, Emma: it’s essential.”
“And I’m not sure about my line: ‘Are my breasts big enough for you?’”
“It shows your vulnerability, Emma. You have been jealous of all the cowgirls that hang on Derek having big breasts.”
“I am?”
“Yeah, we added that to the script. We’ve already cast the girls. Big breasts, all of them. Like BIG-big. We’re filming that later.”
“But I am confident about my breasts…”
“So the nude scene should be fine. Now: Derek has a new line that follows yours…”
“And what is that?”
“You say ‘Are my breasts big enough for you?’ And then HE says “It’s okay, babe: where I come from in Texas the land is flat, too…”
“I don’t think I like that line…”
“It works great in context. Reminds people he is from Texas: you know — story development.”
Then how about I say “You ride rodeo, you then better be hung like a horse.”
“Nah, that doesn’t work.”
“It doesn’t work? It reminds people he’s a rodeo rider, right?”
“You can’t make fun of the male lead’s penis size, Emma: all the men in the audience will then hate you.”
“What? They can’t handle a little joke?”
“You can sometimes get away with saying that about the male lead’s goofy best friend, but this movie needs to be about more than dick jokes.”
“"I hesitate to make this about being a woman, but it seems that this all is written from the male point-of-view.”
“Well, men laugh louder. That’s important in an audience.”
“I’m really not feeling good about this scene.”
“Like I said, Emma: we’ll make sure you won’t look fat, if that is what you’re worried about…”
I am Laslo.
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