“I’d like to order a ‘pizza’….”
“Will that be delivery or carry-out?”
“Is the delivery discreet?”
“Oh, yes sir. We pride ourselves on the discreet nature of our ‘pizza’ services.”
“Then delivery, please.”
“Excellent. What kind of ‘pizza’ would you like?”
“I like my pizzas… young. Do you have ‘young pizza’?”
“Oh, indeed: our ‘pizzas’ are VERY young, I assure you. What kind of cheese would you like for your ‘pizza’?”
“Uh… Blonde?”
“‘Blonde cheese’: an excellent choice. Would you like thin crust or deep dish?”
“Oh, I like them thin. I really like the thin ones.”
“‘Thin crust’ it is. What kind of meat would you prefer?”
“Umm… White meat?”
“We have excellent ‘white meat.’ What other toppings would you like?”
“Blue eyes. I really like when my pizzas have blue eyes.”
“Perfect! I have just the ‘pizza’ you desire. Do you want any side orders?”
“Handcuffs. I’d like some handcuffs. And an orange ball-gag, if you have it.”
“Handcuffs and an orange ball-gag: we certainly can add those to your order.”
“Umm… does my pizza do anal?”
“For a slight surcharge, of course! What’s ‘pizza’ without anal?”
“I really like anal pizza.”
“Many of our customers do. So, to confirm your order: a fresh young ‘pizza’, white meat, blonde cheese, blue eyes, anal on the side, with handcuffs and an orange ball-gag. Will this complete your order?”
“Yes: yes it does.”
“Thank you for your order. As a special thank you, we’re going to throw in an order of ‘cheese sticks’, no charge.”
“Cheese sticks?”
“What — you’ve never had ‘cheese sticks’ before?”
“I don’t think I have…”
Trust me: you’re going to LOVE the ‘cheese sticks’. Most men do.”
“Exactly what are the cheese sticks?”
“Oh, let’s let that be a surprise, shall we…?”
I am Laslo.
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