Friday, March 11, 2016

Both 2+2 and 3+1 equal four, you follow...?


Mr. Jones, Diversity Seminar Instructor...

I see all the men rolling their eyes: another diversity class foisted on them in the workplace, how the Hell can they expect anyone to get anything done? Yeah, I get it...

You see guys, it's simple: Women are your Equals. That doesn't mean that they are the same as you, but they ARE your equals. Both 2+2 and 3+1 equal four, you follow...?

I realize you are all engineers, and that women aren't usually good at that kind of thing, but that does not mean that you are better than them: it just means that you are better than them at Math. See the distinction...?

We only have an hour here, so I'm going to keep things simple...

Point Number One: stop staring at her tits. I mean, I can appreciate great tits when I see them, and women in the workplace love them their cleavage now, but you gotta keep your eyes up in the general vicinity of their face, especially if they are talking. When they walk away maybe you can sneak a glance at their ass, but keep it sly, fellas -- two seconds is a second too long...

Point Number Two: Women have the same right to be wrong as men do. Just because it seems they are wrong more often doesn't mean you can stop listening to them. And when they are wrong, don't be patronizing. I know, I know: this is a tough one. What can I say? Practice, guys, practice...

Point Number Three: you are not the one to blame things on her period. SHE can, but -- for you -- off limits, no matter how bitchy the women might get. This subject might seem to belie the point of Equality, but it really is a trade-off: women live longer than men, but most of those extra years probably add up to all the weeks of her life of menstrual cramps...

Point Number Four: you are NEVER going to fuck that Intern. It ain't gonna happen. So don't be trying to take her to Lunch and shit, just accept that she makes your balls ache and leave it at that; spank it off in the toilet stall if you must...

There are other Points to come, but I figure now is a good time for a coffee break. And -- gentlemen -- don't ask the women to get you your coffee, that hasn't been there job for over twenty years. Or ten, depending what state you live in...


I am Laslo.



2 comments:

  1. Sorry to be a pedant peckerwood, L-Man, but it is "...hasn't been their job..."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry to be a pedant peckerwood, L-Man, but it is "...hasn't been their job..."

    ReplyDelete