Thursday, March 10, 2016

"Obviously you have never sat in the lap of a man wearing corduroy pants and appreciated the texture."


I was in the University Bookstore, on University Avenue, and was casually walking around with a new paperback of "Mein Kampf" under my arm, aimless, when I saw a beautiful young woman in the Law Section.

We made eye contact, then she saw the book under my arm.

I nodded faux-sheepishly and said "Research."

She laughed and said "About Trump?"

I laughed in return and just said that I was checking out famous Austrians, and was getting ready to go to the Art Section to get a book on Egon Schiele.

She said "Who?"

So I replied: "He was a protégé of Gustav Klimt, but edgier. Literally edgier: sharp elbows and knees in his paintings."

"Oh," she said: "I LOVE Gustav Klimt. I have a poster of his in my bedroom."

"I have seen your bedroom," I said.

"What?"

"Bedrooms like yours: Gustav Klimt posters. I have been in many of them."

"Ummmm..."

"Manet, Monet or Mayonnaise?" I asked her, and she laughed.

"I like them all," she said, smiling.

"But you order your mayonnaise on the side, right?" I responded.

"How did you know?"

"Because of you thigh gap. Women who don't order mayonnaise on the side don't usually have thigh gap."

Important Lesson Here: when possible, ALWAYS compliment a woman on Thigh Gap. They stay up at nights thinking about it.

Anyway,

She asked me if I was a student, and I told her I just like to wear corduroy pants.

"Corduroy?" she chuckled.

"Obviously you have never sat in the lap of a man wearing corduroy pants and appreciated the texture."

"I guess..." she said, and I asked her if she would join me in the Cafe for a Latte.

She said she really had to get home and study. So I discreetly followed her home and stared into her second-floor window from the street.

Mark my words: she WILL feel my Corduroy.


I am Laslo.




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