I was in the University Bookstore, on University Avenue, and was casually walking around with a new paperback of "Mein Kampf" under my arm, aimless, when I saw a beautiful young woman in the Law Section.
We made eye contact, then she saw the book under my arm.
I nodded faux-sheepishly and said "Research."
She laughed and said "About Trump?"
I laughed in return and just said that I was checking out famous Austrians, and was getting ready to go to the Art Section to get a book on Egon Schiele.
She said "Who?"
So I replied: "He was a protégé of Gustav Klimt, but edgier. Literally edgier: sharp elbows and knees in his paintings."
"Oh," she said: "I LOVE Gustav Klimt. I have a poster of his in my bedroom."
"I have seen your bedroom," I said.
"Bedrooms like yours: Gustav Klimt posters. I have been in many of them."
"Manet, Monet or Mayonnaise?" I asked her, and she laughed.
"I like them all," she said, smiling.
"But you order your mayonnaise on the side, right?" I responded.
"How did you know?"
"Because of you thigh gap. Women who don't order mayonnaise on the side don't usually have thigh gap."
Important Lesson Here: when possible, ALWAYS compliment a woman on Thigh Gap. They stay up at nights thinking about it.
She asked me if I was a student, and I told her I just like to wear corduroy pants.
"Corduroy?" she chuckled.
"Obviously you have never sat in the lap of a man wearing corduroy pants and appreciated the texture."
"I guess..." she said, and I asked her if she would join me in the Cafe for a Latte.
She said she really had to get home and study. So I discreetly followed her home and stared into her second-floor window from the street.
Mark my words: she WILL feel my Corduroy.
I am Laslo.