Wasn't them; maybe a creepy Stranger from the Street broke into the house and Stuffed Up the Toilet; he has been making the rounds, I hear.

The Slightly-Less-Than-Average-Intelligence Althouse Reader says:

I know you Smart People.

I go into your homes and you say "The Toilet is Stuffed Up."

And -- of course -- you make no Eye Contact.

Obviously I then check out the Toilet and -- Sure Enough -- it is Stuffed Up.

So I ask "Who was the One who Stuffed Up this Toilet?"

And -- of course -- they don't answer. Wasn't them; maybe a creepy Stranger from the Street broke into the house and Stuffed Up the Toilet; he has been making the rounds, I hear.

I explain: "I don't mean to cause embarrassment, but I have declogged Thousands upon Thousands of Toilets, and I have become an Expert in recognizing Shit Cancer."

"Shit Cancer?" they say.

"Yes. The Shit that comes from People who have Cancer. Shit Cancer. I can tell."

NOW they actually give a Damn about listening to me.

"The Interaction of Black and Brown nodules tells me someone doesn't have much Time."

"Oh God" they say.

"You might need a Lawyer to do that Rich People Stuff that Rich People do when they are about to Die. I don't know the details -- I'm not Rich."

"Oh Fuck," they say.

And I figure they don't get it.

Because they're Smart.

I am Laslo.