Friday, March 18, 2016

The Amish aren't Idiots, they could work a zipper, too, they just don't want to.

The Slightly-Less-Than-Average-Intelligence Althouse Reader says:

I know you Smart People.

I deal with you every day.

I know you by your Haircuts and your Gadgets.

I don't know why that haircut cost two-hundred dollars, but you paid that much, so I figure it does.

I like those of You who get my Latte right. Shouldn't be hard -- just a straight Latte -- but some Smart People can fuck that shit up.

I see you when you drive to work, because you are in an Audi or a Prius, and I really DO understand your bumper stickers. Actually, some I don't get, but I figure it is about some Fashionably Obscure Crisis somewhere in the World and you want People to know you're concerned: I get THAT.

But -- Damn -- if you are so smart can't you stop texting or Bluetoothing to actually merge into traffic in an orderly fashion? It's like a zipper -- one, then the next -- and even idiots know how to work a zipper. The Amish aren't Idiots, they could work a zipper, too, they just don't want to. I don't really understand 'multi-cultural' but I can respect that.

But you: you can't seem to do it: you are on such an important call that you can't realize you'd get to work faster if you just -- you know -- drove there.

You know what I know? Righty-Tighty Lefty-Loosey. I make money from that. You, you think it is a funny thing to say while you are installing new appliances. Then you get it wrong, and you call someone like me to fix things.

When the Shit backs up in your Toilet you always seem to need someone less smart than you to figure out how to make the problem go away. Shit don't know smart: everyone's shit does the same damned thing. Except for the Alcoholics and Diabetics, but us less-smart people can handle that, too.

I'll be talking to you somemore, whether you get it or not.

And I figure you don't get it.

Because you're Smart.

I am Laslo.

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