Mr. Jones, Diversity Seminar Instructor...
"Yeah, I know: no one wants to be in here on a Tuesday morning for Diversity Training, I get it. I'll try to get this over as quickly as possible, unless you happen to be Trump supporters, in which case this might take a little longer..."
"Believe me, I understand you: you just want to be left alone. You're tired of having to think about what you can and can't say. Unfortunately, you do not live in such a carefree place -- maybe try Wyoming if it's that important to you. But since you're here, you gotta learn the rules..."
"Black people: try not to say anything. Really. Even your best, most innocent attempts will be turned back on you, and then you're fucked. Remember: YOU'RE the Tar Baby now..."
"Gay people: again, try not to say anything. Treat them like you would a black person. A black person who happens to suck cock..."
"Women: here's where it gets tricky, because not saying anything can get you in trouble, too. Even thinking the word 'bitchy' -- they can see it on your faces, and you KNOW you were thinking it, so, again: fucked..."
"If you must get in a conversation with a woman casually mention that you were brought up in an otherwise female household, and you learned to respect how hard women have it from your mother, your sisters, and your mother's black girlfriend. You know your mother's black girlfriend: she was the one that was denied a job because she was black and gay and then she got cancer. Mentioning cancer usually let's you get out of a conversation quickly..."
Remember: same time tomorrow. We'll talk about the appropriate looks of disgust when Trump's name is mentioned..."
I am Laslo.