Saturday, February 4, 2017

I am currently looking for a sponsor to provide travel and lodging expenses so I can Fight The Power wherever it is needed.

“Rioter Job Applicant.”

“I have many years of experience in the Agitation field, including functioning as a major organizer in the 1999 Seattle WTO protests. In fact, I was among the first to target Starbucks Locations for window smashing — indeed, people today are still following my lead…

I am fluent in Black Bloc, and have my own extensive gear: black clothing, sunglasses, Vaseline, ball bearings, glue for locks and a keffiyeh…

I keep myself in prime physical shape, focusing on the strength and agility needed to kick in windows, overturn dumpsters for fires and for resisting arrest…

I am currently looking for a sponsor to provide travel and lodging expenses so I can Fight The Power wherever it is needed. I have very reasonable rates, depending on the level of ‘disobedience’ you require…

I have experience with giving Journalists good quotes, and am willing to do so with your prepared statements and talking points…

As a sponsor, I will wear a T-shirt with the slogan you select — please inquire, I probably already have the one that you are looking for: ‘Black Lives Matter’, ‘No Justice No Peace,’ ‘Hands Up Don’t Shoot, ‘Fuck Capitalism’ and ‘Die Fascist Scum’ to name a few…

I am ready for whatever your needs may be; please contact me through the usual channels…



I am Laslo.


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