Saturday, February 4, 2017

“Of course. All the reporters call me. I give good quote.”

“Edison Daniels, the Reporters’ Favorite Lawyer”

“Mr. Daniels, this is Jay Roberts from the Washington Post.”

“I’ve been expecting your call.”

“You’ve been expecting me to call?”

“Of course. All the reporters call me. I give good quote.”

“Well, I just have a few questions…”

“You need something disparaging Trump? I have a prepared list all ready. Just let me know the subject: Unconstitutional, Mentally Incompetent, Narcissistic, Emanations — just name it.”

“Uh, perfect. What do you think about Trump’s business affairs while being President?”

“Ahh, let me scroll to the ‘Conflicts of Interest’ page. Hah yes — how about this one: “Trump’s obvious conflict of interest between his positions of President and Capitalist Business Leader will harmfully impact Social Justice, affecting Minorities the most in an Unconstitutional manner. The Conflict is a shadow of a lever he will employ to disenfranchise those who are already oppressed.”

“I like it.”

“How about I email it to you? Then you can just cut-and-paste?”

“Wow — you know how to make a reporter’s job simple.”

“You need anything on Gay Rights? I have a lot of quotes for that. Emanations galore.”

“Maybe I’ll get back to you for another article: our Editors are saving that subject for a more opportunistic moment.”

“You know, I had prepared an entire list supporting Hillary’s positions, whatever they might be. All for naught, it seemed.”

“That IS too bad…”

“Then I realized I just needed to change the Hillary references to Elizabeth Warren: worked like a charm.”

“I’ll keep that in mind…”

“Sorry to cut this short, but I am expecting phone call from a reporter from the Washington Post. Don’t worry, though: I’ll give him different quote.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome. We’re all part of the same team, after all…”

I am Laslo.

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