Wednesday, February 1, 2017

“SNL? Do you know Adam Sandler? He ALWAYS pays Full Price for anal. AND he leaves a tip.”

Whores Who Have Serviced Al Franken (Excerpts):

Bissy, age 22.

I go up to the hotel room my Service sent me to and a curly-haired guy with glasses opens the door.

“Hi, I’m Al,” he says. Then he makes some stupid joke about texting Call Girls: I get it — you are so old you didn’t even have a Cell Phone when you were young…

“I’m Bissy,” I say, taking off my red plastic coat. “Are you Jewish?”

“Uh… what?” He says, wrinkling his nose.

“Because you look Jewish,” I say.

“Is my being Jewish a problem?” he says, sucking in his gut.

“Of course not,” I say. “ I LIKE Jewish guys. Everytime I fuck a Jewish Guy I feel like I made the Holocaust a little less bad.”

“That’s… nice of you,” he says.

“Yeah. I don’t get why people hate the Jews. I mean, they haggle over my price and don’t leave a tip, but other than that they’re pretty okay in my book.”

“You know,” he says, “that’s a stereotype.”

“That’s a stereotype?” I ask. “How much does my service charge for anal?”

“Uh… four hundred dollars.”

“And what did you say you’d pay?”


“And are you going to leave me a tip?”


“Look,” I said: “don’t be one of those Jews that gives the Holocaust a bad name, alright?”

“Ummm… Maybe we could just watch some TV, instead. I brought a DVD of my old clips from SNL…”

“SNL? Do you know Adam Sandler? He ALWAYS pays Full Price for anal. AND he leaves a tip.”

“Maybe we should just call this a night…”

“Uh… maybe you can have your Service send, like, a young girl?”

“Young girl? You mean Tabitha, right? Skinny little bitch who looks like she’s twelve?”

Uh… That sounds good, thank you.”

“Fine,” I say as I leave. I mean, the Holocaust sucks and everything, but I sure get tired of old Jewish men…

I am Laslo.

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