"I think that is being smart, Amanda. Bukkake is for Girls with Daddy Issues."

"Daddy Issue America": an Excerpt...

"Mom?"

"Yes, Amanda?"

"What's 'bukkake'?"

"Sweetie, you could just look that up on the internet."

"I tried, but I think I must be spelling it wrong."

"Well, dear, it's when a bunch of men jerk off and ejaculate in a girl's face and hair."

"Then I WAS spelling it right. I thought THAT couldn't be it."

"Why do you want to know what bukkake is?"

"Because a bunch of boys at school invited me over for a bukkake party on Saturday."

"And do you think that's a good idea, Amanda?"

"Now that I know what it , I don't think so."

"I think that is being smart, Amanda. Bukkake is for Girls with Daddy Issues."

"Do you think I have Daddy Issues, Mom?"

"Of course not, Amanda; you barely ever even see your father."

"Yeah. He'd rather be with his twenty-two year-old girlfriend than spend time with me."

"And that's why WE don't like him -- isn't that right, Amanda?"

"I guess so, Mom."

"One day you'll meet the right man, and things will be wonderful. Then you can have a bukkake party, just you and him."

"Have you ever met the right man, Mom?"

"I thought I did once, Amanda."

"What happened?"

"He wouldn't divorce his wife, the spineless son-of-a-bitch..."

I am Laslo.