"Teachers, students, dirty old men: everyone."

"Daddy Issue America": an Excerpt...

"Amanda...?"

"Yes, Todd?"

"It was great, seeing your tits and everything..."

"Yeah...?"

"But doing your term-paper -- that's a LOT of work."

"But I already showed you my tits."

"Yeah, you did..."

"And they were nice tits, right?"

"Yes they were.."

"Let me guess: you want to see them again."

"Uh, no. I've already seen them."

"So what are you asking? You want to see my butt? Because EVERYONE looks at my butt. Teachers, students, dirty old men: everyone."

"Well..."

"Because I'm okay with showing you my butt..."

""Ummmm... Actually, I want to see your Butt HOLE."

"Todd!!"

"A term paper is a LOT of work..."

"But that's, like, REAL private."

"I don't HAVE to do your paper..."

"Okay, okay: fine. Meet me after fifth-period in Mr. Wright's claas -- the room will be empty."

"I'll be there!"

"And Todd...?"

"Yeah?"

"That paper better get me at least a 'B' or I'll have my Mom's boyfriend beat your geek ass up: he drives a Camaro..."

I am Laslo.