"I thought that was from all the concussions and strokes and drunken falls."

"Hillary?"

"Yes, Huma?"

"That question you were asked about lying: it got me thinking. Do you tell ME the truth?"

"I’ve always tried to. Always. Always."

"That's the same answer you told the reporter."

"Well, but, you know, you’re asking me to say, “Have I ever?” I don’t believe I ever have. I don’t believe I ever have. I don’t believe I ever will. I’m gonna do the best I can to level with my Huma."

"Hillary, it's me. Please..."

"Huma, okay. Of COURSE I have lied to you. I lie to everybody. But when I lie to you they are Special Lies, to bring us closer together."

"What 'Special Lies' have you told me?"

"Well, I told you I really liked that blue purse of yours."

"I love that purse. You don't like it?"

"It makes you look like a Beirut Hooker. Plus it isn't big enough to fit a full bottle of Vodka."

"But have their been... 'bigger' lies?"

"Huma, of course there has. But do you really want me to tell you  that your vagina is ugly and your asshole smells sour?"

"I have an ugly vagina?"

"It is like an oversized mollusk, Huma, stuffed with spoiled roast beef. Sometimes I can barely stand to look at it without gagging."

"Oh my..."

"Huma, just assume that everything I tell you is a lie, but for your own good."

"For my own good. Okay."

"And that way when I DO tell you the truth it is like a special secret surprise we both share."

"How will I know when it is a 'special secret surprise.'?"

"Well: when I tell the truth my eyes bleed a little..."

"I thought that was from all the concussions and strokes and drunken falls."

"Well, that is true, too. See: right there! A special secret surprise!"

"It DOES feel good, Hillary."

"I always want you to feel that way, Huma."

"You do?"

"No, not especially. Sorry: no special secret surprise there..."


I am Laslo.


http://althouse.blogspot.com/2016/02/hillary-clinton-is-achingly-honest-when.html