"That's why I am holding off on anal sex, Dad."

"Daddy Issue America": an Excerpt...

"Honey?"

"Yes, Dad?"

"I really think you need to, well, slow down. You have your entire life ahead of you. You don't need to do everything now..."

"That's why I am holding off on anal sex, Dad."

"Holding off on anal sex...?

"It's a joke, Dad."

"See? That's the problem, Amanda. I can't tell when you're joking, no matter how extreme it is."

"You mean if your Little Girl told you I was holding off on DVDA you would still think it might be true?"

"Yes. I mean -- wait: what is DVDA?"

"Oh, Dad. It's 'Double Vagina, Double Anal'. It is when two guys have both their cocks in your vagina and two guys have both of THEIR cocks in your ass --"

"I get it, Amanda."

"I hope they wouldn't be huge cocks, at least."

"OK, Amanda..."

"I mean: four huge cocks at once: can you picture it? Ew."

"Amanda..."

"I try not to picture such things. But they ARE on the internet. Sometimes a couple of the guys might even be black."

"I think you can stop there, Amanda."

"I'm not as 'fast' as you may think, Dad."

"That's good, honey. Thank you. I just worry about you..."

"I know. I don't want to be that 'stretched out', either. At least not THIS young...

I am Laslo.