I'm one of Them, now.

Girl with the Pony Tail on the Treadmill:

I had that dream again. It's always the same.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I skip the gym, just once, get a mocha and go home.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

When I wake up I'm, like, sixty pounds overweight.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

FAT fat.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I go to work and all the fat girls in the Office giggle and point at me.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I'm one of Them, now.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

"It was just a matter of time until you joined us," they say.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

"I'm NOT fat," I scream inside my head. "This is all some mistake."

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Then I look in the mirror and see a beached whale. I'm pale blubber. And pimples. I am a pale blob with pimples.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Goodbye, flat stomach. Goodbye, toned ass.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Goodbye, thigh gap.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Then I wake up. Flat stomach, Thank God.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I worked too hard for this ass to just give it up.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I'm going to wear extra-tight clothes to work tomorrow.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Teach the fat girls a lesson.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Like they had the right to laugh at me.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Definitely no mocha tonight.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I am Laslo.

https://althouse.blogspot.com/2016/05/the-problem-of-winning-miss-universe.html