"Daddy Issue America"
"Dad found God."
"Don't worry, baby: he'll screw that up, too -- you'll see."
"But he and his twenty-two-year-old girlfriend made me to go to church with them."
"What kind of church was it, sweetheart?"
"I'm not sure what kind it was. A lot of talk about Jesus, I guess: that kind."
"Well, I don't think Jesus would approve of a man who left his family for a girl half his age."
"Oh, he says Jesus has already forgiven him about that."
"That sounds like your Father."
"And he told me that when at church next Sunday that I shouldn't wear such tight and revealing clothes."
"Honey, you wear whatever is comfortable to you."
"Thanks, mom. Besides, I don't think I have any clothes that aren't tight or revealing."
"You're young and beautiful, baby: there's nothing wrong with giving the world some candy."
"Yeah. For churchgoers a lot of those men sure couldn't stop staring at my tits."
"Well, I'm sure they believe Jesus will forgive them."
"That's funny, mom."
"Baby, God gave you those tits for a reason. You don't need to hide your headlights under a bushel."
"What's a 'bushel', mom?"
"It's some Biblical thing, I think."
"Maybe I'll ask about that on Sunday..."
I am Laslo.