'Samuel, the Transsexual Alabama Slave.'
"Let me get this right, Samuel. You are now saying yourself is a woman?"
"Yes, Massah. I is a woman on the insides."
"But your outsides are that of a man, and a slave, which is what God in his Wisdom chose you to be."
"I ain't got no argument with God, Massah, I just is what I is."
"So what exactly does this mean for me? Can I still whip you?"
"Sure can, Massah. Whip away."
"So what is going to different?"
"Well, I wanna pick the cotton wit the women."
"But the women don't pick nearly as much cotton as the men slaves. Are you doing this just to be lazy, Samuel?"
"No, Massah, no! I never be lazy, you know that! I still be pickin' the cotton like I always do."
"Wait a minute! This isn't because I sometimes have relations with the male slaves' backsides to relieve my glandular tensions?"
"No, sir. You can still put yourself up my backside -- you'll just be putting it up the backside of a woman, that's all."
"This is a lot to think about, Samuel."
"Ain't it ever, Massah, ain't it ever..."
I am Laslo.