Hillbillies on the Porch:
"Whacha whittling there, Deke?
"Well, I started tryin' to whittle a pony, but now I think it's just gonna be a pony with no legs."
"That's a sad pony."
"Yeah. But I just listen to what the wood tells me."
"You know, I was thinking back on the old days. To get me up for work my daddy would wake me at four in the morning by putting a snake on my face."
"A snake? What kind of snake?"
"I don't know, it was always dark."
"Sounds kinda dangerous to me."
"Ah, it never bit me or nothing. Daddy would keep it close to his lap, so it must've been safe."
"I think that was maybe your Daddy's cock he was puttin' on your face."
"Naw, that can't be it. My sister says Daddy used to wake her with a snake to the face, too."
"Sure, sure. I'm sure it was a snake, after all."
"Damn right it was a snake."
"Sorry -- I don't know what I was thinkin'."
"Yeah. Daddy did some weird things from time to time, but that was on account of the war."
"Obviously a snake."
"Damn right it was a snake..."
I am Laslo.