Sunday, June 26, 2016
I just painted my toenails blue, see? Do you like the color?
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the Sadness in the World that I feel like I just want to sleep for days and days.
My therapist says this is Depression but I don't want to take any pills, they make you gain weight. I don't want to get fat, that would just make me more depressed.
And no one likes a fat WebCam Girl. Well, I guess some do, maybe, but those kind of guys are creepy losers who don't feel like so much a loser when they look at a sad naked fat girl. Want to see my bra?
When I am asleep the World cannot touch me, but then I get afraid that I will die in my sleep and never even know it. Which makes me scared to sleep. Would any of you notice if I died? Would any of you care? Should I take off my skirt?
And what if I DID get fat? Would you all stop watching, even though the feelings I share are still the same? Or would I change, and just start complaining about being fat?
I hate it when fat people complain about being fat. I just want to say: "Stop being fat, then." My mother always complains about being fat, I think it's her anti-depressants. Should I bend over and touch my toes?
Maybe I'll just become an alcoholic like my grandmother. She's drunk all the time, but she's thin. And she says the funniest things sometimes; it's just hard when she falls and breaks something again. I just painted my toenails blue, see? Do you like the color? I like the color: it makes me think of the ocean, and then I picture that we are all just little fish, swimming in the ocean. I don't think fish get depressed. I hope not.
And meanwhile, did anyone read the poem I wrote? Anyone?
I am Laslo.