Amber, the Blacked-Out Possibly Raped College Girl says:
So when my boyfriend came home after that night where he may have raped me he said he would never do a thing like that, that it was just a drunk misunderstanding, that's all.
I wanted to talk about it more, but he said if I kept bringing that shit up he would be gone for good. That didn't seem fair -- I had a lot of feelings about that night that I needed him to understand -- but I didn't want him to leave me.
Anyway, I was groggy from wine and Vicodin so I went to bed. He played a video game, I could hear it from the living room, then he came in a bit later and put his hand on my shoulder, and I pulled away. It was just a reflex, I think, I was pretty out of it, but it obviously hurt his feelings.
He said he wanted to sleep with me, but I told him I wasn't ready yet, I was still emotionally confused about 'that night'.
"Not that shit again" he said, and that maybe he just needed to find a girl who didn't have such problems.
I didn't want to have sex, but I didn't want to fight either. I said 'No' again, but then we had sex and I may have passed out during it, I don't remember.
When I woke up he was gone again. It's like I don't want this to keep happening but then it keeps happening. So I took some of the Vicodin I had left from my ski-boarding injury, and went back to sleep.
I thought being raped would be different.
I am Laslo.