Sunday, July 10, 2016

Maybe Camel Lights. But I know he wants a Newport.


Lamar Gonna Set You Straight....

I'm Lamar, and I'm a Young Black Man, Proud and prone to Anger Issues. I can't help it: living amongst all these White People with their Little White Problems just makes me Angry. Try MY Problems, Bitches...

So I'm standing on the Ave, just taking in the day, when I ask a young white dude if he can spare a cigarette.

He shakes his head and says 'No': I can deal with that, it's not like I'm gonna beat someone down for a smoke. Now, my ancestors slaved over Tobacco to get white men their cigarettes, and you think a White Boy could spare one on Principle, but I'm not going to rectify all this right now, all's good...

But then he gets that look in his eye: that 'All You Blacks Are Beggars' look. You know the Look: you white people all do That Look, don't think we don't get it...

"What you lookin' at," I say, side-stepping in front of him with a bit of Lean...

He changes his eyes real quick, stammers that he only has a few left...

"White Boy," I say, "I can smell them: they're fucking Menthols. You smoking the Black Man's cigarette and you can't even give one up FOR a Black Man...?"

"Sure, sure," he says, and gives me a smoke.

Was that so Hard? If he had just given me the cigarette in the first place there'd be no Race involved, just a dude helping a brother out...

And Dude was wearing a Bernie shirt: how White is that? Are there even any Brothers in Vermont? Black people drinking Maple Syrup and Shit? Let's face it: Bernie is for the White Liberals who voted for Obama and don't want to admit they think made a Mistake electing a Black Man...

At least Obama smokes from time to time, I hear, although I bet the Brother don't smoke no menthols: he gotta keep it White in his Hood. 

Maybe Camel Lights. But I know he wants a Newport.

 You think you got Problems? Fuck You.


I am Laslo.



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